


Primrose

by yeolsmuffin



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: EXO - Freeform, EXO Smut, F/M, exo fanfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-09 04:43:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17400245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeolsmuffin/pseuds/yeolsmuffin
Summary: Never did you think that the sparrow birthmark you had since birth would lead you to be thrown into a world filled with vampires. A world where you found yourself falling in love more than once and a world that you would try your best to run from.





	1. Chapter 1

“I absolutely don’t want to go tonight,” you whined at your older sister who was curling her hair in the bathroom of the apartment the two of you shared.

Her reflection rolled its eyes at you, “You never want to go out. You’re such a buzzkill,” she groaned.

You couldn’t help but shrug. You didn’t care that you were a ‘buzz kill’, unlike what your twenty-six-year-old sister thought, there was more to life than partying. You thought that she should have been the younger sister with the way she acted and how irresponsible she was. “I have to study for a chem test.”

She scoffed, “It seems all you every do is study.”

It was something she wouldn’t know much about. She failed straight out of college and while you saw there were some people in the world that weren’t meant for college you knew that wasn’t the case – it was that your sister was lazy and would be happiest marrying someone wealthy. It was like the contrast of night and day between your sister. She had spent years chasing men and you had spent years chasing an education. While you loved her, the two of you didn’t always see eye to eye.

Sometimes you wondered if it was because the two of you didn’t have parents anymore. You were half sisters and her father left when she was two years old, whereas yours stuck it out and became the only father she knew when you were born. She loved your father but she was six when he came around and at that point, she knew he wasn’t her real father. Your mother and father had died when you were fourteen and at the age of twenty, your sister stepped up to be your guardian. You knew the situation played a big part in your relationship and how she was today, but you had no idea if she had always been this way or not – too many years of your life had become a blur. “It will be fun, Y/N,” she said in a flustered tone.

You sighed. “Okay.” You would do it for her and only her but you hoped she wouldn’t bring a guy home tonight because you were not in the mood for the awkward morning after in which her pick of the previous night tried to stick around for breakfast.

“Maybe you’ll meet someone,” she said trying to catch your eyes in the mirror. You looked off into the distance. She wanted you to meet a wealthy man just as badly as she wanted one.

You snorted, “I’m not interested.”

“There’s more to life than school,” she pursed her lips and you decided to say nothing and leave the room. Maybe there was more to life than school for her, but it was all you had. Your dreams of being a doctor were what kept you breathing every day. Even on the days when breathing and staying alive got hard. The monotony of life was too much to bear – but yet you didn’t want to do anything to break it.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽ 

The club was worse than you thought. 

Every so often an attractive man would pass by, but most everyone was just giving you the creeps. You had given up early on at trying to have fun and resorted to leaning against a dark corner of the bar and drawing circles into the wood as you mentally studied everything you remembered that was on your upcoming chem test.

“Come have fun,” your pretty-much-drunk sister would beg of you every few minutes and each time you replied the same.

“I am having fun,” you lied.

This time she lifted her lip at you and let out a growl.

Why don’t you find a man to prey on? You wanted to ask. But you couldn’t say it. You never did. You let her make your choices while you watched because after all, she was the one who had raised you.

You were repeating an equation in your head like a chant when suddenly the air around you changed, causing you to lift up your head from the bar for the moment and all of the breath left your lungs.

Shivers raked down your back and over your body as the bar had grown cold. Looking around nobody seemed to notice or maybe they were too sweaty – but you were freezing. That’s when your eyes caught a figure who had just entered the club with some friends. It was as if your eyes were a magnet to his body and you couldn’t stop staring at the man with dark eyes and perfect hair. Something about him was mysterious and beyond your comprehension.

His gaze flitted over to yours and immediately he stopped walking, causing his friends to bump into each other. He watched you with an intense look, one that was able to pull your eyes away finally. Your cheeks flushed, “God, what the fuck, Y/N?” You whispered to yourself. “You just stared the man down.”

He didn’t approach you, but you continued to feel his hard gaze on you as he made his way around the club. He may have been looking at you, but everyone was looking at him which made you feel small in comparison. There were other more beautiful women he could have been looking at and while you liked that he was looking at you, part of you wished he would look at them. You weren’t worth looking at. You weren’t worth the time.

“Do you want a drink, darling?” The friendly bartender asked. Everything about her looked harsh on the outside but she had been making conversation with you whenever she had a free moment. She must have known you were miserable.

“I can’t have alcohol,” you reminded her.

She shrugged, “There is more to drink than alcohol. How about some lemon water? Maybe it will perk you up.”

You nodded, “I would appreciate that.” Although you were certain that nothing could properly perk you up in the club.

After a few moments, she passed a drink over the counter to you and gave you a sympathetic smile as she went to tend to the other already half-drunk patrons.

You sipped slowly on the water and started to study using your phone. You mentally cursed yourself for not slipping your small study notebook in your clutch so you could study while your sister partied her heart out.

Time passed by quickly and before you knew it an hour had passed. You stopped studying and instead were trying not to fall asleep while you daydreamed of the mysterious man who had made the entire club turn cold.

Something made goosebumps prickle up on your skin but you tried to ignore it. But after a moment, you looked up and realized why your skin had goosebumps.

The man.

Your lungs squeezed tightly as you lost your breath when the gorgeous man that you had been secretly daydreaming about while lying against the bar came up to you.

He had a smile quirked up at you as you forced your head up from the cold bar and looked at him. Something inside you ticked and you felt different with him around – but you weren’t sure how. “Have you drunk too much?” he asked with his dark eyes lingering over your body.

You knew you should be afraid of him because he looked as if he would break your heart with the simplest words but you couldn’t find the fear – only a giddy nervousness. “Oh no, I’m not a drinker.” You flashed him the ‘x’ that was messily scrawled on the back of your hand.

He laughed, “Ah, too young?” he questioned and you could sense a tone of disappointment in his voice.

Unintentionally, you fluttered your eyes a few times - immediately feeling stupid at how this man was making you feel. “Just barely. I turned twenty a few weeks ago.”

Something sparked in his eyes as he looked at you and it sent chills rattling through your body. He sat down next to you, not bothering to order a drink as he eyed you. “What’s your name?”

There was a particular scent this man had. You were sure it had to be cologne but it was stronger than you had ever smelled before, although quite not enough to make you cough. “Y/N,” you said offering your hand to him.

He raised a brow, staring at your hand for a moment before placing his in yours causing jolts of electricity to flow through your hand and up your arm. You pulled away quickly and he narrowed his gaze, looking at his own hand in curiosity. “I’m Jongdae.”

His name was like music to your ears, sparking something inside your stomach and maybe even your heart. You shook your head, trying to clear your thoughts. You couldn’t understand why you were becoming so infatuated by this seemingly perfect man.

Thoughts of him were flowing through your head. You wanted to know him more – to see more of him. The attraction that you had to him seemed to be magnetic and the pull was too harsh to be able to stop it. You wanted him – and you barely knew him.

The two of you got lost in conversation for what seemed liked hours until you found yourself feeling tired. Talking to Jongdae wasn’t boring in the least – you just hadn’t gotten much sleep lately. You had still enjoyed talking about your classes in college and listening to Jongdae speak about his interest. You found yourself wanting to know everything about him.

“You looked bored,” he noted.

You gave him a small smile, “Not of you talking, I’m just bored being here. I haven’t gotten much excitement lately and this place definitely isn’t what I consider fun,” you said while you raised a brow and looked around the dance floor.

“Why are you here then?” he wondered.

“I was dragged here by my older sister who finds joy in making out with random strangers. She told me it would be fun… and well, it’s not.”

Jongdae licked his lips, “Want to go do something… more interesting?”

You felt your pulse quicken and Jongdae was boring into you with his dark eyes. You were intrigued by his words and you most definitely wanted to do something more interesting with him, even if it meant trouble. You didn’t mind hooking up with Jongdae although you knew it would probably be a mistake. His eyes told you differently. They told you that you definitely wouldn’t regret anything involving him. “Okay,” you agreed. While you were exhausted and you weren’t sure how well your body would function tonight, you couldn’t find it in you to say no. This was your chance at something exciting.

He paused for a moment, eyeing you and taking a shaky breath before grabbing your hand, sparks jolting through you in that moment and as he looked down at your hands once again, and this time you swore he could feel it too. He interlaced your fingers together and you felt yourself being washed with emotions that you were struggling to contain. You felt different with his hand wrapped in yours and you didn’t want it to end. Just a simple hand hold and you felt attached to him – like you never wanted to let go.

As he led you out of the club and to his car, you knew you would end heartbroken with a guy like him but everything he was making you feel you felt like was worth it – at least you thought it was.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

Jongdae couldn’t believe it was that easy to get in your head. He hadn’t even intended on finding a girl tonight but the moment he laid his eyes on you, his whole body froze. Something inside him stirred and he felt things he didn’t understand – even after over four hundred years of life.

It wasn’t just your beauty that had him practically drooling but it was everything about you. The aura that pulsed off you was unlike any other he felt in the past. You were stubborn, strong-willed, and independent. Not the typical woman he ran into – or human at least. Oh, and then there was your blood. The sweetest and intoxicating scent he had ever had filled his senses.

When he had asked Minseok about it, Minseok had just chuckled and raised an eyebrow. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Did someone drug your blood? You been feeding on addicts now? She smells just like all the other humans in here – dull.”

But Minseok was wrong. You smelt entirely different and it seemed as if everything was wanting to pull him to your side.

“Don’t get involved,” Yixing had warned watching Jongdae’s eyes carefully. Jongdae scoffed but Yixing pulled him to his side, “Seriously,” he whispered, “I see how you’re looking at her and it worries me. You know how attached humans get. If you want a one night stand, find someone who isn’t so serious.”

Jongdae didn’t want anyone else. He wanted you and he wanted you before he lost control. His arousal was high just from your scent but he was also so intrigued by the personality you seemed to have. He wanted to get to know you – which wasn’t normal. Hookups or a quick drink is all he would use humans for. Thankfully, he was able to wipe the minds of the simple-minded girls, but one like you would be hard to crack. He tried pressing into your mind but it was as if there was a tough lock on there.

Which led him to where he was, driving his all black car and trying not to speed to your apartment. Being this close to you was dangerous because the last thing he wanted to do was scare you.

From the passenger seat, Jongdae could see you shaking a bit but you didn’t come off as afraid. He sensed it was more nervous. Why were you nervous? Jongdae thought his looks paled in comparison to yours so if anyone, he should be nervous.

The two of you didn’t talk during the ride though since you were deep in thought and Jongdae had his knuckles tightly on the steering wheel trying his best not to pull over so he could kiss you.

Once he had gotten to your apartment building he pulled into the spot you told him to and he quickly shut off the car so he could open your door for you. You looked shocked as a nervous smile played on your lips.

Jongdae needed every part of you. He wanted so badly to have sex with you but he knew that wasn’t all. He wanted to know you, he wanted to be around your scent all of the time and maybe once you were comfortable he would taste your blood – but only then. He had been a vampire for a long time and he was in control enough to not bite out of excitement during sex. Jongdae wanted your consent for it all because it was important that you wanted whatever he would do as much as he did. From the way your eyes followed him, he didn’t think it would be a problem.

In the past, he and his clan would just hook up with any girl regardless because they could easily use persuasion or just the power of seduction. With you, Jongdae found that he wanted you to seduce him too. 

Something about you was making him feel like less of a vampire and more like a human. He hadn’t felt like a human in almost four hundred years. It was something that should have sent him running away from you but instead, he just kept being pulled in your direction.

The second you had opened the door and let Jongdae in he felt like he could barely breathe. Your scent was tangled heavily around all the objects in your house and he could barely smell the scent he assumed belonged to your sister. He wanted to lock himself in your apartment and never leave.

You shifted your weight awkwardly causing Jongdae to look at you, “Do you want something to drink?” You asked with uncertainty.

He smiled at you and stepped forward. His hand cupped your cheeks as the sparks ignited between his hand and the skin of your cheek. He inhaled slowly still not understanding why he got that jolt every time he had touched you but he found that he liked it.

Something was different about you and it seemed to create a reaction he had never experienced nor heard of happening.

A gasp escaped your lips.

“Darling, I just want your beautiful body. You don’t need to try to make me comfortable.”

“Oh.”

Jongdae licked his lips trying to keep his fangs from exposing themselves. “Only if you want me too,” he clarified.

You bit down on your lip, drawing his eyes down to your lips. “I do,” you whispered.

He could tell by the way you were reacting that you weren’t used to contact with men and while typically it would annoy him and turn him off, he found himself glad that not many other men had you in such an intimate way. “Are you shy?” His thumb pressed circles into your cheek.

You shook your head but your facial expression showed otherwise.

“You don’t need to be shy, darling. You have nothing to be shy about,” leaning down towards you, Jongdae raised his eyebrows. “Is it okay if I kiss you?” He had to be absolutely certain that everything he did to you was wanted.

While you nodded your head, Jongdae let out a small laugh.

“Give me a verbal yes or no, my dear. You’re too precious and I want to be sure you want me as much as I want you,” Jongdae hadn’t used any form of mind control or persuasion on you like he had done in the past with other women because anything from you, he wanted to be natural. He was told he was handsome so it wasn’t often he had to persuade women to sleep with him, but he wasn’t one for just sleeping around. Jongdae liked drinking blood from all of his human hook ups because if he just wanted sex, he could get that from another vampire and with that so, there wasn’t much reason to sleep with humans. But then there was you. Jongdae didn’t want your blood.

Well, okay, Jongdae did want your blood but this time was different. He wanted your blood in a consensual way. Jongdae wanted to spend the night making love to you and hearing your beautiful voice. He wanted to get to know you well enough that you would willingly let him drink from you.

“Y-yes,” Jongdae’s dark eyes searched yours as you stared up at him, your pupils shaking violently.

Jongdae bent down so his lips were just above yours, “What are you so afraid of?” He asked as his lips ghosted over yours.

“Nothing,” you said back and while Jongdae wasn’t convinced with your words, you pressed your lips to his, making him gasp in shock and melt into you. The sparks ignited between the two of you once again and Jongdae could feel the after effect tingling down to his fingertips. His hands left your cheeks and drifted down to your waist where he clutched desperately. He felt breathless and out of control from your lips and it wasn’t something he was used to feeling.

Gently, he backed you into the wall of your living room and your hands laced around his neck, causing him to groan in delight.

He could feel your pulse hammering in your wrists as they rested against his neck and while it should have been hard for him to resist sinking his fangs into your wrist, Jongdae was focused on pleasuring you.

Jongdae nipped at your lips gently as he grabbed the backs of your thighs and urged you to jump up so he could wrap you around his waist. You did has he said and he had to clench his fists to help keep himself from taking you right then and there. Sparks spread throughout his entire body as he was flooded with your scent and warmth. If he didn’t know better, he would swear you were a potent drug.

Without needing instruction, Jongdae carried you to your bedroom – which he knew exactly where it was due to how heavily it was covered in your scent. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion but Jongdae pressed kisses to your neck to distract you from asking any questions.

You made a noise that sent chills up Jongdae’s spine when he dropped you down to your bed and he hovered above you. So badly he wanted to cuddle up in your sheets with you and never leave – and he considered maybe he would do just that after he made love to you. Surely you seemed to be interested in him enough to not mind if he stayed?

Jongdae kissed at your neck and even though he could feel your pulse racing against his lips, he was able to keep himself and his fangs in check. Your blood would taste so much sweeter if you asked him to drink it and he knew that. You moaned out as he did so and Jongdae felt himself hardening even more than he already was. Everything about you was so beautiful and intoxicating to him.

Your shaking hands tugged at the shirt that he was wearing and he smirked against your neck. While you hadn’t been drinking at all, you still seemed to be wasting no time and Jongdae thought with delight that maybe you were just as drunk on him as he was on you. Gently removing your clutched hands from his shirt, Jongdae took his lips off your neck and quickly disposed of his shirt causing your eyes to snap down to his bare chest. Jongdae’s hands worked up underneath your shirt, feeling the hot and bare skin of your stomach as he moved them upward. 

Once his hands reached the lacy cups of your bra, you made a small whining sound so Jongdae gently squeezed your breasts while looking into your hooded eyes. He gestured for you to sit up and once you did so, he lifted the shirt up over your head and flung it across the room. It went a little farther than he intended due to Jongdae’s inhuman like strength but he hoped you didn’t notice. Normally he was good at not slipping up and appearing to be a typical human, but being around you was making it hard for him to contain himself.

It was a desire of his since the moment he had laid his eyes on you for you to know his true self. He wanted you to know about his world and for you to love indulging in it. While being fed on wasn’t always pleasurable, Jongdae knew if you ever let him, that he would make it pleasurable for you. He would turn it into one of your favorite things and he was sure of that.

Jongdae’s eyes shot to your nearly bare chest and your lacy bra. He smirked. The bra was sexy but Jongdae knew you would look much better without it. With a quick movement, he reached behind you, lifted your back off and unsnapped the bra and revealing you to him.

There was just something about your body that was perfect. He hadn’t seen a body part he hadn’t like and he hadn’t even gotten to the best part yet. He pressed kisses to the now bare skin and he tried to suck at the skin of your chest gently but he left dark purple marks in his wake. You didn’t seem hurt as you continued to moan even after he left the marks on you. He had noticed in places where his hands would grip your waist, small bruises were forming, but again, you didn’t seem bothered.

If he hadn’t been on the verge of sleeping with you, he would have cringed at the marks on your body that he was leaving – but he couldn’t get his mind to focus on it.

With the human women in the past, they always were bruised from Jongdae’s rough touches but then again, he wasn’t used to sleeping with them often. He wasn’t used to having a gentle side when it came to sex because he was used to the almost indestructible bodies that vampires had. 

Your cheeks were flushed and your eyes were wide as Jongdae removed the rest of your clothes from your body. He took in a sharp breath seeing you naked. And to think he almost left you alone the way Yixing had suggested he do. Jongdae’s hand gently caressed your bare skin, goosebumps raising on your skin as he did so. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured and your cheeks just grew hotter. 

The insecurity you had was evident, but Jongdae didn’t want you to feel any of it. As far as he was concerned, his eyes would be satisfied if all he could see was you.

He leaned back down over your naked body and captured your lips with his. As he kissed you, his hand trailed down between your legs and he bit back a groan when he felt how wet you were. You shivered under his touch and let out a shaky breath through your nose. 

Jongdae’s lips left yours after a few moments and he tried to more gently wrap them around one of your nipples without bruising you. As his tongue shot out around your breast, he pressed a finger gently inside you causing your back to arch and a small moan to escape your lips. He looked up at you, watching your face contort in pleasure as he pressed his finger deeper. 

Once he trailed his kisses up to your neck once again, your mouth found his shoulder. He felt your teeth gently nip at his skin and with a groan, he started to pump his finger faster. Jongdae wasn’t sure there was anything better than the feeling of your teeth against his skin and even though it was unfamiliar he was reveling in the feeling of the speaks igniting between the two of you.

It felt as if he was being electrocuted and pleasured at the same time when you touched and bit him. Jongdae was barely holding onto his composure as he felt your body tighten as you drew close to climax. You bit down roughly against the tough skin of his neck and Jongdae let out a load moan against your neck. Your pulse was hammering and while Jongdae’s fangs began to ache, he held himself back. 

You climaxed around his finger after a few more pumps and Jongdae swore he could listen to the sounds you made all night. When you rode down from your high, Jongdae pulled back and looked at your wide eyes, swollen lips and red cheeks. His eyes flashed close for a moment and he let out a content sigh.

Your fingers tugged at the pants he was wearing and Jongdae’s eyes flew back open. “More?” he asked.

You nodded and Jongdae pulled away from you to remove his pants. As he did so, he caught your stare on him. 

“What?” he asked with a playful tone. 

“You’re oddly beautiful,” you whispered from where you were still sprawled out on the bed. 

Jongdae let out a chuckle as he finished undressing and he stared at you with the what felt like a dangerous glint in his eye. He couldn’t wait to have you because you were the most intriguing woman he had ever met. He was sure that sex with you was going to be the best he ever had. 

He walked towards the bed again, his arousal harder than ever but he wasn’t embarrassed. He was sure of himself and even if he hadn’t been, you made him even more sure. Jongdae caught your stare moving down and he just smirked, hoping you enjoyed the sight. 

With gentle hands to avoid marking you further, he pulled you up from the bed with him and wrapped his arms around your naked body causing his whole body to ignite with heat and sparks.

Planting feverish kisses to your lips, Jongdae moved back towards the bed and he sat on the edge. You looked confused but he just smiled as he guided you down to straddle his lap. He wanted to see every inch of your face while he was inside of you. He wanted proximity and the ability for either of you to control what happened.

He could feel the tremors that racked down your body as he guided you down onto his length and he couldn’t stop the moans that escaped his lips as you did so. Once he was fully inside you, he splayed his hands over your hips and looked into your eyes. “Are you okay?” He asked your shaking form.

You nodded, “I’m fine. I don’t know why I’m shaking so much,” you said as you let out a nervous chuckle.

“Do you still want this?” He asked being careful not to jostle you around on his lap and make you feel like he was forcing you into something.

“Of course,” you whispered and your aura told him everything. You were excited, nervous, afraid, aroused, and another emotion he couldn’t pinpoint. Jongdae let out a barely audible ’Ah’. You were so hard to figure out but he found himself being entranced by the fact.

Before Jongdae could do anything, he noticed a familiar dark red marking on your hip and he reminded himself to ask what the meaning of the tattoo was later but there was something screaming in the back of his head. A voice telling him to stop and get out but he knew he was in far too deep to listen to the voice now.

Your arms wrapped around his shoulders and you nuzzled into his neck, making his blood rush. As he thrust up into you, he felt your moan against his skin and he ached to have your teeth in his skin. You were just a human so there was no way you could pierce his thick and tough skin, but that didn’t stop Jongdae from daydreaming.

He gripped at you a little too roughly and it seemed that the skin where the red mark was freezing his skin whereas the rest of your body was on fire. It felt like a warning but again, Jongdae pushed it away. He had been too on edge lately – too on edge since he had to see his parents and they were making him paranoid.

The tightening of your walls around him was making him light headed as he continued thrusting inside you at a faster pace. Your moans were breathy and he could feel your soft lips pressing to his shoulders once more. It was even worse that you seemed to be a biter and while you nipped at his skin making his thrusts messier, he wasn’t getting the relief he needed from your teeth.

Normally, Jongdae didn’t have this inclination while having sex – and even with vampires at that. He was either having sex strictly to drink the blood of another human or just for relief with another vampire and even then he never wanted to be bit so badly.

Now it was almost like a desperate need. As if he would implode if he couldn’t have your teeth sinking into his skin. Almost on instinct, your teeth pressed more roughly against his skin. To you, you may have thought you were being too rough, but to him, it felt like a pinch.

He wanted the full blunt of your bite and he wanted you to blood share with you.

Trying his best, he pushed the thoughts away and moving one hand from your hips to your face, he brought your lips to his. He sucked gently at your lips, taking your moans in his mouth as he did so. 

Without meaning, Jongdae had brought you to another climax and his ego was immediately boosted as you moaned out his name several times over. He thrust his length into you harder and urged you to move in synchronization with his hand pressing into your hip. You caught his hint and began to match each of his thrusts.

Out of nowhere when Jongdae felt close to orgasm, something in his body clicked. His body was electrified with the sparks that the two of your skins touching caused and as his lips kissed their way down your jawbone to your neck, he couldn’t control himself anymore. His eyes burned with an intensity and he knew they had changed colors when you gasped and your body froze. Before you could react, Jongdae’s fangs unsheathed and pressed into the warm skin of your neck.

His fangs punctured deliciously at your soft skin and he moaned into your neck. Your pulse was hammering as he shot venom into your veins. Only then when you had let out an ear piercing scream had Jongdae realized what he had done. You collapsed on top of him and with a horrific look on his face, he released his now dripping with blood fangs from you and he felt himself regain control.

“Oh my God,” he cried. “What have I done?”

Pulling himself out of you, he laid you down on the bed and tried to find your pulse. When he didn’t he felt tears pricking at his eyes. He was a monster. He was sure of it.

Hastily, he threw on a large t-shirt over your slumped and cold body and as he gently pulled the underwear up over your body, he saw all the marks he had left on you and it made him cringe. His eyes danced over the red tattoo-like mark before his eyes shot away and he pulled you into his arms and all but flew out of your apartment.

Jongdae couldn’t stop the blood from dripping down your neck and it struck him with such a fear, that his whole body quivered.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

Jongdae rushed through the doors of the manor he resided in with his clan, his breathing heavy as hot tears went down his cheeks.

“Yixing!” he roared as he looked for his friend. “Yixing, I need you!”

It didn’t take much for his dark haired friend to appear next to him. Immediately, Yixing’s eyes widened in horror and he took your limp body out of Jongdae’s hands. “What did you do?” he growled. “What did you get us into?”

Jongdae followed Yixing as he led you into his room, laying you down and inspecting your body. “I didn’t do anything!” Jongdae exclaimed, “I mean, I didn’t mean to! Please help her,” he whined out desperately as he tried to stop the tears.

Yixing shook his head but didn’t remove his eyes from you as he looked over your lifeless body and the blood that dripped from the wound on your neck. “Didn’t I tell you not to mess with her?” He gritted out.

“I couldn’t help it!” Jongdae cried as he wiped blurry tears from his eyes and he watched Yixing taking your pulse.

The door flew open revealing Junmyeon and Minseok, both with wide eyes. “What the fuck happened?” They looked down at the girl and then back to him with shock. 

“Aren’t you old enough to be cleaning up your own messes?” Sehun asked in annoyance when he caught the scent in the air and looked around Junmyeon and Minseok who were still in shock and standing in the doorway.

“Why did you bite her?” Junmyeon asked his words a rushed mess.

Your body was barely covered since Jongdae had rushed you over to his house as quick as he could, but that was the least of his concerns at the moment.

Although, that didn’t matter as Junmyeon pressed into the room and over to your form. Jongdae narrowed his eyes at his leader, wondering what exactly he was doing to you. Junmyeon’s eyes caught something as he pushed your shirt up a litte and he let out a gasp.

Jongdae hurried over to his friend and looked at what had shocked him.

The mark.

The soulmate mark.

His soulmate mark.

“Holy shit,” Junmyeon exclaimed as he ran a hand across the tattoo like mark that had sat on your hip bone.

It was in the shape of a sparrow and a deep red color just the way the one on Jongdae’s shoulder was displayed.

How had he not noticed it? He cursed to himself as he remembered how cold it was and the ways his eyes drifted to it. But how could you be his soulmate? Human’s couldn’t be vampires soulmates?

Minseok stepped forward and tilted his head, “But she’s human,” his voice breathlessly.

Yixing shot a glance over at the three, “Not for much longer,” he gritted out. “This was reckless, Jongdae.”

Sehun sauntered into the room, “Oh give him a break, Yixing. It’s just a human.”

Jongdae tensed and stared at his younger friend.

“She’s not just any human.” Jongdae hissed, “She’s my human.”

Yixing groaned and mumbled something to himself as he began prodding your with various medical devices

Sehun pursed his lips. “Is that what we do now? Collect humans for our own?”

“She’s his soulmate, Sehun,” Junmyeon said showing off your sparrow mark that the whole clan had known Jongdae had.

Sehun scoffed but looking at the marking, he stopped and pressed his fingers to the abnormally cold part of your skin. “But… how?”

Minseok shrugged gently, “It’s something me and Junmyeon had never heard of before, that’s sure. Soul mates are always the same species.”

“What even happened?” Sehun asked.

Jongdae looked over at you and clasped one of his shaking hands onto your cold arm. “I bit her,” he said with venom.

Sehun snorted. “I get that, but why?”

Junmyeon cleared his throat and Minseok rolled his eyes with so much effort it almost could have been heard. “Time to explain the birds and bees to the young Sehun,” Minseok joked and Jongdae just stared at his older friend. He couldn’t find the words to express his anger now, but he definitely didn’t appreciate joking around when his soulmate was on the edge of death.

“When vampires are with their mate sexually for the first time, they have a biting and blood sharing ritual that they can’t control. Typically, it’s not a problem because well… vampires aren’t as fragile as humans.” Junmyeon explained.

“Is she going to be okay?” Sehun asked and Yixing looked over at him.

With a solemn look on his face, he dropped his eyes back to you, “I don’t know. Biting a human is one thing but Jongdae didn’t just bite her. He injected his venom into her and there are only two outcomes. Either she survives and becomes a vampire, or she dies. To be honest,” Yixing injected an IV needle into your wrist, “she’s weak and the chances or her making it are slim – especially since this wasn’t a typical venomous bite but a mating ritual bite. I have no knowledge about what that can do to a human since that’s not a bite we can do on command.”

“Yixing,” Jongdae whined, “She has to live.”

Hooking the IV up to a fluid bag, Yixing crossed his arms over his chest, “What did I tell you, Jongdae? Not to meddle with humans – especially her.”

Jongdae narrowed his eyes at his friend. “She’s my mate!”

“So that makes you not care about her well being?”

Jongdae’s grip tightened around your arm, causing his nails to pierce your skin slightly, making your warm and beautiful scented blood come spilling out. Jongdae gasped and Yixing pushed him away from you to care for the new marks on your arm. He started to clean the wounds and bandaged them. “Of course I care for her wellbeing. I’ve been waiting for her for years. It’s not my fault I was drawn to my mate. It’s not my fault she’s a human!”

“Yes, but I told you to stay away,” Yixing reminded while working his hands at your skin.

The tension in the air was thick and Minseok gently wrapped a hand around Jongdae’s shoulder. “Let’s get some fresh air?” He suggested.

But Jongdae tugged away, “I can’t leave her.”

“Nothing will happen while you’re gone,” Minseok assured. “Besides, she’s in good hands with Yixing.”

“I’ll join the two of you,” Junmyeon suggested. “Sehun, why don’t you go inform the other’s that Jongdae’s mate is here and is recovering with Yixing. Remind them they aren’t to bother her or Jongdae.”

Sehun groaned but he nodded and sauntered off.

Jongdae pressed a gentle kiss to your too cold body. It was unnatural and made him want to claw his own heart out because just around an hour ago, you had been so warm that Jongdae could have sworn he was on fire. Every touch of your skin had sent sparks through his body, but now, neither of that was so and it made Jongdae sick.

He had waited hundreds of years to find his soulmate - and now he had. There was no second chance at a soulmate and if he lost you, he would die.

More than just figuratively.


	2. Two

“Jongdae, give it some time,” Jongin said reassuringly as Jongdae paced outside the bedroom you were staying in. You were now on constant watch by at least one of the nine men in the house but no matter how much the others urged him to stay away and get rest, he couldn’t bear to leave your lifeless body.

“It’s been two days,” Jongdae croaked.

Kyungsoo looked from Jongin to Jongdae, “It’s not as long as it seems,” he offered in his deep voice. “It takes time.”

Jongdae threw his hands in the air, “How would we know? How would any of us know? We were all born! Not made!”

Jongin placed a hand on Jongdae’s shoulder but he shrugged it off, “Junmyeon has been in contact with some distant family that has a few turned vampires. While none of them are like Y/N, we’ll take what we can get. Three of their ‘offspring’ - if you will - are turned vampires since great aunt Liliana has a thing for misfits without family. Their youngest took a month before he woke up.”

“A month?” Jongdae screeched, “I can’t wait a month.”

Kyungsoo shot Jongin and evil glare. “It’s different, Dae. We have Yixing and he’s one of the more powerful members of the family. Besides, he has done extensive research on both humans and vampires. While she is unresponsive and lacks a pulse currently, Yixing is certain she’s alive and he never says something he isn’t sure of.”

“I won’t believe anything until I see it,” Jongdae said peering into the crack if the door to the room you were in. “Besides, I don’t even know how she’s going to react to this. Humans are delicate.”

“She’s not human anymore,” Jongin reminded.

Jongdae shot him a look. “Trust me, I know.”

“What are you so worried about? Soulmates have to be together,” Jongin reminded. “She can’t just up and leave because she would die. Besides, she will be naturally drawn to you.”

“She’s very stubborn and very focused… and well, I don’t think she’ll take well to being turned a vampire. She seemed attracted enough to me but something inside me says this won’t be easy.”

Jongdae didn’t know how true his words would soon prove to be.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

The fire that ran through your body while you were in the dark abyss of your mind was slowly dulling. After what seemed like large fragments of time had gone by and you had been in excruciating pain, the pain was dulling. You were dying or maybe you were dead and you were sure of it. Something had happened to Jongdae when you were having sex, something that you didn’t think was possible. He was a vampire and he bit and killed you. 

Or so you thought.

You had the strangest feeling as if you were coming back into the body that you had once left. You could breathe again but it felt asthmatic and as if your throat was coated in thorns. 

“Darling?” a soft voice asked.

A voice? You hadn’t heard a voice since the ear piercing scream you ripped out as Jongdae bit you. You were still in the black abyss but it seemed to be getting away from you. 

“She’s waking. Get Jongdae,” the voice said.

Jongdae. You didn’t want anything to do with the monster. Not even if you survived which it seemed like you had. You would gather your courage and run the fuck away from him.

The abyss lightened and you felt a hand caress your skin. Your cold body flowed with warmth from the touch and you could feel yourself shiver. “Open your eyes,” the voice whispered. 

As much as you tried, you couldn’t force your eyes open. You didn’t know if it was because you were afraid or because they just couldn’t open. 

The hand caressed you gently until you heard a door open and instantly the room grew cold. The hand retracted from you and before you even heard his voice, you knew it was him. You felt electrified as his body neared and as his hand touched your arm, sparks rose goosebumps on your skin. Your eyes flew open on their own accord and Jongdae gasped. 

“They’re red,” he said as your eyes adjusted and you got a good look at him. He was just as handsome and while he looked dominate, he didn’t look scary even though he had put you in such a dangerous position. He looked to the other man in the room and your eyes followed his. It was the man who had called you darling. He was incredibly good looking and shockingly soft as you noticed he too was a vampire. But how did you know? It struck you but now there was an instinct inside you that told you if someone was a vampire. 

This man seemed too gentle to be a vampire. With deep set dimples and a sweet smile, he seemed like a knight out of a fairytale. Not to mention that his touch sent warmth through you. 

“Yes, they will be red for a while. Until she is fully transitioned,” he said his words carefully as he looked at Jongdae. 

“Fully? How so, Yixing?” he asked the man as his eyes trailed back to you. 

Yixing licked his lips and moved towards you, ignoring Jongdae’s question. “How do you feel?” he asked sweetly. 

As you tried to speak, your throat felt constricted and stopped you.

“She needs blood!” Jongdae exclaimed while pulling his wrist to his lips and biting into his skin. “Here, drink my love,” he said trying to put his wrist to your mouth. You were compelled and disgusted at the same time as you cringed away from him and shook your head. “What’s wrong?” he said trying to move closer to you. You looked at Yixing in fear and he sighed, putting his hand on Jongdae’s shoulder.

“I don’t think we should force her to drink when she just woke up, Dae. You’re scaring her.”

As if on cue, you lifted a finger towards Jongdae as flash backs crashed down on you. The wonderful sex, the sparks against your skin, and the piercing feeling of his teeth in your neck. “You bit me,” you managed to force out. 

Jongdae licked his wound and reached out for you but you cringed your laying body away from him once again. “I’m sorry. You have to let me explain. I never meant to hurt you. You’re my soulmate and that’s just what happens-“

Soulmate???

Yixing must have seen the look of horror on your face because he pulled Jongdae away. “Hey, you can’t just start telling her everything at once. She just woke up and that’s a lot to take on.”

“I want to go home,” you cried out. “I want to go!” you yelled sitting up. 

Yixing let out a slow breath. “You can’t,” he said softly. 

“Why?” you demanded. 

“Because Jongdae turned you.”

“Turned me?”

Yixing cleared his throat and looked at Jongdae who had his gaze locked on you. “Into a vampire.”

“A what??” you screamed and your throat felt like it was bleeding. In no time you were up and had Jongdae pinned to the wall by your hand on his throat. “You did what to me?” you screamed at him. 

Yixing watched the two of you but didn’t interfere. 

“You’re so strong, my love,” Jongdae croaked out as he smiled and placed a hand over the one you had wrapped around his throat. “I never imagined…”

Using your other hand, you pulled his off your own and as you did so you heard loud cracking sounds and Jongdae yelped. 

“You broke my hand,” he whispered, his voice still obstructed by your chokehold but he looked impressed and happy instead of angry. 

“I’ll break every part of you if you don’t change me back and let me go home,” You threatened not knowing if you could really break him. 

Yixing looked at you, “There is no way to change you back and you can’t go home,” he explained.

“Why?” you asked as your grip tightened and you looked at Yixing. 

But instead of Yixing, Jongdae answered. “Because, love, this is your true form and you can’t go home because you’re already home.”

The last sound you heard was a loud crack and then you blacked out. 

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽ 

“You broke Jongdae’s neck. He’s a lot happier about it than he was when Minseok did the same thing,” Yixing said offering you a smile as he sat on a chair in the corner of the room. 

“He’s okay?” you asked in an odd place between worried and disappointed. 

Yixing laughed. “Yes, of course. Better than okay. He’s excited by your strength.”

“Unfortunate,” you mumbled to yourself but you also felt relief. 

“Give it some time,” Yixing said. “Enough about him, how do you feel?”

You scoffed. “Dead.”

“Like how does your body feel?” he clarified.

You took a breath, feeling the thorn-like feeling in your throat and from where you were sitting in the full-size bed, your whole body hurt. Sure it had before but after breaking Jongdae’s neck, you completely felt drained. Your body felt like it was on fire, but not as bad as it was when you were asleep or whatever it was. Your body felt bruised so you didn’t make an effort to run away. Not that you could in a house of nine male vampires. 

Mentally, it was another story. You were torn up and conflicted between feeling like this was right and between wanting to go home and return to normal life. There was also a part of you that wanted to die. Whatever being a vampire meant, you didn’t want it. You had so much to do and your sister wouldn’t last long without you. Even if the two of you didn’t get along well, she was all you had. 

“Broken,” you answered shortly.

Yixing had told you it had been a few hours since you had passed out and the reason it happened was from lack of blood and over exertion. For some reason, while you didn’t trust Jongdae or any of the other mysterious vampires in the house, you trusted Yixing. He felt safe and honest even if you didn’t know what honesty was anymore. “You’ll be better once you feed.”

With a shake of your head, you immediately groaned from pain. “No,” you said grabbing at your neck. “I don’t want this life. I don’t want to accept it.”

Yixing nodded, “I get it. But it happened so you have to go with it. You need to feed.”

You raised a brow defiantly, “Why? Will I die?”

He laughed. “Absolutely not. You are nearly indestructible – although, not feeding will weaken you and cause you extreme pain.”

You pursed your lips, “So I can’t starve to death?”

“No.”

“Well, I have no reason to feed then.”

Yixing sighed, “It’s going to hurt. Not eating that is. I don’t recommend it.”

“I’ll feed when I can go home.”

He gave you a sympathetic look, “You can’t go home. At least not yet. You need to learn how to be in control and from breaking Jongdae’s neck, something tells me you’re far from having restraint.”

You pointed at him, “He had that coming though.”

“Still. You need to know how to control that anger in a way that won’t have you killing anyone who upsets you.” Yixing eyed you so heavily it made you self-conscious. “What is it that you’re so desperate to get back to? Do you have a male already?”

You laughed, “Wait. Why would I have been having sex with Jongdae if I had a guy?” but as the words tumbled from your lips you covered your mouth in embarrassment. 

Yixing chuckled. “It’s not like I didn’t know what happened. Don’t be shy. He’s your mate. It’s normal.”

“No,” you corrected. “It was a onetime thing. I don’t want to be with him. Anyways, it’s not a man I have to get back to, but my sister. She’s all I have and I’m all she has.”

He looked off into the distance to ponder this, “Okay. You can let her know you’re okay and that you’ll be away for a while. Once you get everything under control you can see her regularly and let her know you’re staying somewhere else.”

You groaned. “It’s not that simple in the human world.”

“We’ll figure it out.”

You rolled your eyes, “I want to go home.”

Yixing walked over to you and reached for something out of the side table that was next to you, “Then drink,” he said trying to hand you a blood bag. 

Anger coming over you, your hand crashed down over his wrist and you twisted it so roughly it cracked and Yixing released the bag. He didn’t yelp but he just raised a brow. 

“You can hurt me all you want. I’m not Jongdae. I’m not in love with everything you do nor am I hell bent on trying to get you to accept your new life. I’m just here to help you go through the process a little easier. From one doctor to a future one. I care about your well-being so hurting me will get you nowhere,” he said in a soft voice. “You’re not my mate so while hurting Jongdae now doesn’t hurt him emotionally, it will in the future. So if anything when you’re hurting people, think about that.” He touched your shoulder gently, sending warmth through your limbs. “And, if you want to go home to help your sister, fed and try your best. I’ll help you however I can – no matter what.” 

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

Every day that passed and you found yourself losing any of the strength you had. You had only been awake for a week but you were struggling to do anything yourself.

No longer could you over power Jongdae and hurt him, so now when he visited you, you could do nothing but let him stay.

“How are you feeling?” He said as his eyes dragged down your uncovered body and his eyes caught on the bruises that decorated your skin.

You looked out the small window in the bedroom that was now yours – or so that’s what Yixing called it. Jongdae insisted that you would do better if you had stayed in your bedroom with him. That just always set you off and made you want to break his neck again. “I’m fine.”

Jongdae let out a sigh, “You don’t look fine. Let me take care of you. The more you’re around me, the more your body will heal,” Jongdae walked over to your bed where you were sitting cross legged and had a medical book in your lap. You glared at him. “If you just let me touch you, I could heal some of those bruises,” his eyes were gentle and while you so badly wanted his touch, you couldn’t allow it. You didn’t want to be swayed. While everyone insisted this was your new life and Jongdae was your soul mate, you wanted your choices and you weren’t ready to commit.

You were too young after all and it wasn’t like you were dying anytime soon.

“I don’t want you to touch me.”

He just looked at you and you knew what his eyes were saying. Sexually, you had very much enjoyed his touch – but that was before he bit you. It was strange and like an out of body experience to feel so much anger towards someone you had slept with two weeks ago. “Not like that,” he clarified. “I literally just need to touch your skin with my hand. It will make so many things better I promise. It’s not like I’m asking you to feed,” he argued now sporting a puppy dog look. You didn’t know a vampire could be so adorable.

Oh God.

You shook the thought away. “I’m fine, Jongdae. I don’t want your help.”

“You need my help. I’m your soul mate,” he pointed to the top of your red soulmate mark that was showing from where your shirt rode up. You forced it down.

“I’m not ready to be someone’s soulmate and did you forget that you bit me?” You growled and while you wanted to crush him in any way you could, you didn’t have the strength… or the willpower since Jongdae’s scent was incredibly intoxicating today.

“I’m not asking you to be ready. I’m not asking you to even look at me romantically right now. I just want to help you, that’s it. You don’t have to give me anything in return and ever at that if you don’t want to. Just caring for you is enough – even if it’s platonic.”

You rolled your eyes, “Why would I want you to care for me when you did this to me?”

Jongdae looked down and his eyes roamed over the dark purple bruises once more, “I’m so sorry. I would have never-” he stopped himself and you knew he was deciding whether or not he would have turned you in the first place if he had the choice. “I would have never done something you didn’t want. I didn’t mean to. But that’s not the point. You’re covered in bruises from falling and not feeding. I know you’re in pain and since we’re soulmates, I can heal you. It will help the pain so much.”

You threw the book out of your lap, “Let me be like this! I want to be in pain!” But as you did so, you smacked your arm against the wall and let out a cry of pain. Jongdae immediately went to grab you but you crawled away, clutching your arm. You were more sensitive and fragile than a human since you were unfed and you were denying Jongdae’s touch but you didn’t want to feel the sparks between the two of you. The sparks made it impossible to deny him.

“Please,” he cried. “Let me help you.”

Just then the door flung open and to your relief Yixing was there. In the first week, he had been someone you trusted and he wasn’t one to force anything on you. He even brought you medical books to study because somehow he knew that’s what you were studying.

“Are you alright?” Yixing asked you, striding forward and coming next to Jongdae.

You nodded and tried to adjust your arm but it caused you to screech in pain and Jongdae flinched.

“Come here,” Yixing said gently.

You shook your head and looked at Jongdae skeptically.

“I’m not going to have him touch you. Just me, okay? I’m just going to put my hand gently on your arm, is that okay?”

An expression of pain crossed Jongdae’s face and it made your insides twist but you nodded and tried to move. When Yixing saw you couldn’t move and he noticed your bruises, he came towards you and sat sideways on the bed.

Closing his eyes, Yixing placed his hand gently on your arm and warmth flowed through you again. Your body tingled slightly underneath his touch and your arm slowly stopped aching. Once he moved his hand, you felt cold in his wake and it made you sigh. Looking down, your bruises were gone your arm felt good as new. “How did you do that?” You asked in awe as you stared at his handsome features.

He gave you a smile, “Healing powers. Some Vampires get lucky and have powers. I’m one of those lucky ones.”

“Thank you,” you whispered.

Jongdae scoffed and glared at Yixing. “There is only so much someone who isn’t your mate can do. I could help you more than that,” his gaze flicked back to you and his eyes looked like they were pleading.

“Jongdae,” Yixing started but Jongdae was already out of the room and Yixing just let out a sigh as he patted your leg. “He’s very prideful,” Yixing said. “He’s been waiting the most out of all of us to find his mate and he can be very jealous.”

“I’m not his to be jealous over,” you said but your speeding heart was telling you different. You felt upset that he had gotten jealous and while you tried to push it away, you couldn’t. Not only was your body telling you that you were just that, Jongdae’s to be jealous over, but the way Yixing’s soft eyes looked at you, told you that too. He didn’t say it out loud, but he very well may have. 

The sooner you accepted it, you were sure the easier it would be.

But you didn’t always take the easy way out.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

“Wow, you’re pretty,” Chanyeol said with shock. It was mid-week of your second week awake and finally, you had given the okay to meet the other guys. Not that you wanted to, but Yixing ensured you that they would be nice and maybe even good company and well, you trusted Yixing.

You were sitting on the bed with your legs dangling over the edge as you flipped through a book about physical therapy. You nodded at him but his big size and playful smile had put you on edge.

Baekhyun smacked at him, “What did you expect her not to be? She’s Jongdae’s mate after all.”

Chanyeol snorted, “I mean she was a human and humans tend to look dull.”

Sehun pointed at you, “She’s not human anymore so maybe she lost her 'dullness’ when she changed.”

Yixing who was sitting next to you and acting as your shield from the other vampires just scoffed, “She looks just as she did human. Clearly, not all humans are dull.”

It felt like heat spread across your cheeks as you looked down at your hands.

“I think that Jongdae would hang us all if he heard us commenting on his mate’s attractiveness.”

You growled and all the eyes shot back to you. “I’m not ’his’.”

Sehun rolled his eyes, “Um, sweetheart I was there when you came here all unconscious and shit. I saw your mark and it’s the same as Jongdae’s… which means, you’re his.”

Yixing sucked in a breath next to you knowing what was coming next.

Unfortunately, you didn’t have any strength so you weren’t able to go after him so instead, you launched your book at his head and groaned in pain once the book left your hands. It took too much muscle work to throw the book and you ached now. 

Sehun hadn’t expected it so it collided with his head before he could react. “That’s rude.” He said rubbing his head. “Sorry that I’m just stating the facts.”

“I’m not property. I don’t belong to anyone,” you hissed out.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol looked at each other and seemed to be having a conversation with their eyes and it set you off even more.

“What?” You yelled. “You guys have something to say too?”

They flinched and backed up slightly, both shaking their heads.

“Sweetheart, you can’t be delusional. You guys had sex and did the mating ritual shit. You’re in it for good now,” Sehun said nonchalantly. 

Another growl escaped your lips and while you didn’t have any enegry left, you lunged at Sehun but Yixing caught you before you could get him. You whined at Yixing and he sighed. "Tell Jongin and Kyungsoo to visit later,” he instruced the others.

Once they left the room and Baekhyun had looked at you over his shoulder a few more times, Yixing released you and took the warmth he had provided you with him. "You’ll have to learn to ignore Sehun.”

“Does he always talk out of his ass?”

Yixing chuckled, “He does but I promise he has a good heart deep down. Out of all of us, he is one that needs to find his mate the most. Something to take his edge off.”

You looked at him, “So nobody has found their mate yet?”

He gave you a look, “Just Jongdae,” he said carefully. “We have no idea when we will find them or where but once we do, we have a pretty good sense of it.”

“What about you?” You wondered.

Yixing gave you a smile and nudged your shoulder playfully. The friendship the two of you had formed made you feel warm and fuzzy. “What about me?”

“Do you want to find your mate?”

He eyed you, “Maybe one day. But I can wait a while. It seems like I have my hands full as it is,” he teased and you felt a blush creep up your cheeks again.

“I’m sorry you have to help me so much.”

“Don’t be,” he said. “I like helping you.”

And like that, you and Yixing had started to grow closer. He was around you often and caring for you since you wouldn’t allow Jongdae to and while Jongdae had yet to give up, you had yet to give in. The warmth Yixing had been providing you with his touches and company was enough.

You weren’t sure what you were feeling, but you started having feelings for Yixing – you just hoped they were platonic.

The blush on your cheeks when he entered the room told you otherwise. But then there was the look of depression in Jongdae’s eyes every time he visited you and that reminded you that you had this strange sense of caring for him even if you didn’t want to. You wanted to look at him and only him but you wouldn’t let yourself.

Maybe since you fought it so hard, it made your eyes wander more than they would if you had accepted Jongdae.

But it was too late to turn back now.

You had already denied him for so long and you weren’t sure what you were going to do yet but you knew you needed to keep Jongdae as far as possible.


	3. Chapter 3

“She’s getting weaker,” Jongdae said in a tired voice, “What do we do?”

Junmyeon let out a sigh and pressed his forefinger and thumb to his nose. “I don’t know. We’ve never dealt with a mate before let alone a human one at that. I only know from what I’ve seen and the studies I’ve done – and well, none of those were about humans.”

Minseok pressed his palms roughly against the table. “Normally, mates of vampires are only other vampires and I’ve never heard of anything like this case. We ourselves haven’t dealt with many made vampires either so how do we make her feed?”

It had been a long month since you had been turned by accident by Jongdae and while you had woken up a week after being turned, you refused to feed or accept yourself as you were. You had been resistant to Jongdae and anyone’s help. You hadn’t been humored when you found out that it wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to off a vampire. There were two ways you could die. One is being killed by someone else and the other was to be separated from Jongdae for a long period of time – but you had yet to know of the second part since Jongdae knew that once you knew that, you would be gone. Jongdae didn’t want you to get more motivated to leave. 

Much to Jongdae’s distaste, you were being kept in a guest bedroom and someone was on constant watch for you. Most of the time it was Yixing which was starting to make his blood boil. While you would talk with Yixing, you would barely talk to Jongdae during the times he came to watch over you. He could tell you didn’t want him around but he had to remind himself that it was for your best interest even if you despised him for it in the end. All he wanted to do was protect you and the best way he could do that was to be around you.

You were too weak to try to run away or even to do things for yourself and Jongdae was about to reach his breaking point. You needed to feed and you needed to feed soon. Yixing’s healing touch could only help you so much and you refused to let Jongdae touch you. If you would only drink his blood you would feel so much better.

“She couldn’t run away if she wanted to now,” Jongdae said sadly. You were skinny – too skinny. Your body weight had dropped significantly since being turned and the curves of your body that you had once before were hollow and most of your bones were sharply sticking out. You had dark bags under your eyes and your cheeks were hollow. Just moving around the room you stayed in was a task and you fell easily but despite the pain, you wouldn’t let Jongdae heal you with his blood. “While I don’t want her to be able to leave, I don’t want her incapable.”

Yixing sighed, “She looks bad and I’ve even offered human blood from a blood bank or even Jongdae’s blood in a cup if that would make her happy, but she won’t take it.”

Minseok nodded, “From what I know, she needs to feed straight from the tap the first few times for her fangs to come in all the way. She’s probably in extreme pain and while giving her blood would perk her up, her fangs would still be aching.”

With a shake of his head, Jongdae closed his eyes, “She won’t drink from human and she sure as hell won’t drink from me.”

Junmyeon bit his lip. “Minseok,” he said carefully and when he had his attention he went on, saying his words low and slowly while he eyed Jongdae. “is it possible for her to feed off of someone else?”

The words had barely come out of Junmyeon’s mouth before Jongdae was standing, his eyes a flaming red color. “Absolutely not. She’s my mate. You know how intimate blood sharing is between vampires!”

Minseok took a deep breath and stood, ignoring Jongdae’s outburst. “Yes. That would suffice. While human blood would be best, and Jongdae’s blood will be better, another vampire can do.” Minseok walked over to Jongdae and put both hands on his shoulders, “Sit down,” he ordered, “you need to think about her, not yourself.”

Jongdae was going to argue but Minseok had a strength advantage and was eventually able to force Jongdae to sit. He crossed his arms over his chest, resembling a small child but he didn’t care. He didn’t want his mate drinking from one of his brothers. It was wrong and it just wasn’t fair – but he didn’t know if he had a choice. “She doesn’t trust anyone,” Jongdae murmured. 

“Actually,” Junmyeon started causing a glare to shoot his way from Jongdae, “She trusts Yixing.”

Jongdae’s glare snapped over to Yixing but Yixing was already shaking his head and putting his hands up. “Absolutely not. I have nothing against the girl but,” he pointed at Jongdae, “do you see how he’s fucking looking at me? Yeah, I don’t want to fight with him anymore than we have already gone at it.” 

A snort came from the doorway and the four men looked in that direction. Black haired Baekhyun was standing there leaning against the frame. 

“Excuse me, this conversation is only for adults,” Jongdae sneered.

Baekhyun laughed, “I’m older than you asshole.”

“I meant in terms of mentality,” Jongdae retorted.

Baekhyun waved him off, “Anyways. If you would prefer that Yixing isn’t the one she feeds from, I’ll do it. I happen to think she’s pretty damn hot so I’d love to have those lips wrapped around my-”

Jongdae was up and across the room in the blink of an eye, he had a hand wrapped around Baekhyun’s throat but Baekhyun just smiled at him.

“Throat. I was going to say throat.”

“Let’s face it. She only trusts Yixing and he’s one of the more trustworthy ones of us. Yixing, let Y/N feed off you,” Junmyeon said, ignoring Jongdae and Baekhyun.

Yixing nodded slowly, listening to his leader. “I’ll do it for her but you need to rein in possessive ass Jongdae.” He turned his head towards Jongdae as Jongdae released his hold on Baekhyun, “It’s not like I can take you from her, Jongdae. She’s yours and we all know it – even she does.”

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

A soft rap sounded against your door and while you wanted to speak and tell them to go away, you couldn’t find your voice. Your throat was burning and closed up so instead, you sunk further in the blankets.

“Y/N,” Yixing’s soft voice said. You heard the door click behind him and you pulled the blanket down from your body and tried to sit up. “Oh my god,” he whispered. “You look awful.”

“Thanks,” you croaked out.

Yixing walked towards you and sat on the end of the bed. While he may have been like the rest of the guys here, you trusted Yixing for some reason so you didn’t mind the proximity. Something about him calmed you down and made everything feel better even when you felt like you were dying. Jongdae had ignited you with sparks and made your body feel like it had run a marathon, not to mention the way he made your heart feel. It was overwhelming and with Yixing, you didn’t have that.

He never forced anything on you the way Jongdae had tried to force you to feed either. Yixing was calm, gentle and listened to you. He was the only one asking about what you wanted and life and he constantly brought you medical books to study.

“We need to talk,” he said gently as he watched you trying to sit up. Letting out a small breath, he helped pull you up and while you didn’t get the sparks you got with Jongdae, you were overwhelmed with warmth when he touched you.

You dropped your hands to your lap and tilted your head, “About?”

“You need to feed-“

But before he could finish his words, you were shaking your head. “No,” you forced out, your throat raw. 

A breath escaped from Yixing’s nose. “Listen, I’m going to let you in on something. You can’t die from starvation. You cannot. The only thing you’re doing is causing yourself pain. There are only two ways you can die – and I assure you, they won’t happen so don’t think about it. Do you not valid your life? You can still become a doctor like you want to. I’ve been bringing you all kinds of books to study and we can help you get back into school, Y/N.” his dark eyes bore into yours, “but you have to feed because you can’t function in society until you’re well fed and know how to control yourself.”

You gave him an unbelieving look. “You already told me I can’t die from starvation and I told you I don’t care. Besides, how can I trust that you’ll help me with all of that when I feed. What about Jongdae?”

He pursed his lips, “What about Jongdae?” He reiterates, “You’re your own person and you know you can trust my words. I’ve been through medical school at least ten times over and have several degrees. Minseok has studied psychology, music, and foreign languages god knows how many times and Junmyeon has studied ethics and education. You can have whatever life you want just the way you did before. The only difference is you have a lot longer to do so. You want to save people don’t you?”

His words were overwhelming you, just as Yixing always did. You had to remind yourself that if anyone was honest, it was him and if anyone knew what you wanted education wise, it was Yixing who had already been through the schooling you wanted. “I don’t want this life.”

Yixing gave you a sympathetic look, “I know. I was born this way and I’ve lived this way for over 450 years. It’s hard and there were times I wanted to die – not to mention since I haven’t found my mate and I have no interest in anyone but them.” Looking towards the door his eyes narrowed, “Don’t hate Jongdae too much. When you lived as long as we have, finding our mate is a big deal. It’s hard to find love because all we want is our true love. You mean a lot to Jongdae and he never intended to give you this life.”

“He doesn’t know me,” you said dryly.

Yixing shrugged. “He does in so many ways. The two of you were made for each other and while we don’t know why it’s how it is. You being a human wasn’t the way things were supposed to work and how do you think Jongdae feels about that? He didn’t plan on this either, Y/N,” he said gently.

“I’m not ready for commitment regardless of what was planned or what wasn’t.”

“Nobody is asking you to commit right now. We want your health and happiness first and the rest can be figured out later. We aren’t forcing anything on you – especially Jongdae. Just give yourself a chance to live and go to school what you want.”

You pulled his gaze to yours, “Do you promise that I can go to school?”

He nodded with a soft smile, his dimples showing. “I swear. I will personally help you re-enroll and figure finances out if you start drinking and try to get used to your new body.” He pressed his fingers to his chin, “Next month. We can do it next month if you get everything under control.”

Furrowing your brows, you stuck your pinky put for Yixing and he chuckled before wrapping his long pinky around yours. 

“I promise,” he whispered. 

And you trusted him. Something about Yixing was special and he already seemed to be your friend. You had on opposition to feeding though, you wanted to save lives, not take them. Yixing seemed to know this. 

He eyed you carefully, “You don’t have to feed on a human but you have to have some blood.”

“I can try the donated blood,” your voice scratched out. 

Yixing’s face darkened. “That’s not enough. You need to use your fangs and drink from someone.”

Your hands were up and protesting before he could continue.

“Jongdae is still an option,” Yixing whispered in a tone that made you think he was trying not to upset you. “Human blood is ideal but since you won’t do that, Jongdae is the next best.”

You shook your head, having flashbacks of him initially biting you and your whole body cringed. Sure you were attracted to him like a magnet but you were still angry about the ordeal and even a bit afraid. You were also afraid of liking him more if you had more contact with him. The sparks that ignited between your two bodies was addicting and while you wanted more, you didn’t at the same way time. If anyone knew you didn’t want that, it was Yixing since you had told him you weren’t ready to be with Jongdae and you didn’t know if that’s what you wanted. 

“I know you don’t want it to be Jongdae so the guys and I have come to one more option and you need to be open-minded.”

Your heart sunk to your stomach as you waited. 

“Me. Your last choice is to feed from me.”

“W-what?”

Yixing’s lips formed a hard line, “If not me, it can be any of the other guys but we all know you won’t feed from anyone else. I know you trust me so you know I will help you through it and won’t harm you. Although, if you’d prefer Chanyeol or maybe Kai…” he trailed off. 

He knew very well that you were slightly afraid of Kai and that Chanyeol was so loud and happy that it scared you. “N-no.”

He nodded, “Me it is.”

“But Yixing,” you protested.

“Do you hear yourself? You’re so weak that it kills me. We all want to help you and you won’t let us. I’m the last resort, do you understand? I want you to go to school and be a damn great doctor because you have it in you and to do that, you need to be able to walk without breaking your damn legs! Please, Y/N! If not for you, then do it for me.”

A shaky breath passed your lips as you put a hand on Yixing’s shoulder. His words made you feel bad because while you hadn’t known him long, Yixing really was important to you. He was the one you had grown closest to and he knew most of the things in your life that you barely told anyone. You were afraid to feed and to accept the monster you were, but you would do it for Yixing and your parents. You had to become the doctor you wanted to be, for them. And to be a doctor, you had to feed. You didn’t want it from a human and you didn’t want it from Jongdae since you were afraid of falling under his spell. With Yixing you didn’t have to worry about hurting anyone or sleeping with him. It was the safest option. “Okay,” you finally agreed.

Yixing smiled, “Really?”

You nodded slightly unsure. All you knew is that you couldn’t feed of Jongdae no matter what.

“You’re going to be the best and most beautiful doctor,” Yixing said softly as he put a hand to your cheek. “I just know it.” Warmth spread through your body with his touch. 

“I’m afraid,” you whispered. 

Yixing brushed his thumb against your cheek, “Don’t be, darling. You’ll feel so much better, I promise.” 

“How?” you asked in regard to how you would feed on Yixing he picked up on your question immediately. 

You were extremely weak so even moving had hurt you. “I’ll hold you on my lap while you drink,” he said with a tone you couldn’t recognize. “If you’re comfortable with that, that is,” he quickly added. 

You hesitated. Were you comfortable being held by Yixing? Surely, since you trusted him right? But you couldn’t be for certain. You at least knew that you weren’t able to hold yourself up much to feed on him any other way.

“You have to feed, Y/N,” he reminded you. “you’re too weak to do it any other way and unless you want to sit on Jongdae’s lap-“

You put a hand on his mouth stopping him, causing his eyebrows to fly upwards as he tried not to smile. He hasn’t known all the details of you sleeping with Jongdae and how you had gotten bit so he didn’t understand how much the thought of sitting on Jongdae’s lap affected you and made you aroused and scared at the same time. Yixing was definitely the safe choice, you reminded yourself. “No. I’m fine with it.”

Moving his hand from your face, he gently grabbed your hips and pulled your frail body up onto his lap. He dangled your legs across his thighs and your side was pressed into his chest. It was intimate and your body erupted with a warmth that felt like a fire was nearby but at least it wasn’t the position you had been in with Jongdae. No. That was intimate. This wasn’t anything close to the way Jongdae had made you feel.

Your lips quivered at the thought of biting Yixing. It was too scary and what if you hurt him.

His hands trailed from your hips up to your face, “Darling, you can’t hurt me. You beat Jongdae up for almost a week straight when you first woke up remember?” he let out a small laugh and you smiled at his light tone. “Besides, hurt would be the last thing I felt. Most vampires enjoy blood sharing with their partners and actually-“ he stopped at the fearful look in your eyes, “I can’t lie that it's… well, it can be very intimate but I promise you that I am just here to give you my blood, nothing more but - it will have an effect on the both of us. I have not forgotten that you are Jongdae’s and neither can you no matter how much you wish it wasn’t so.”

Okay, you couldn’t lie that you were afraid now. Blood sharing was intimate? What exactly did that mean?

“This is why Jongdae is the second best option for you. Blood sharing between vampires is different than between a vampire and a human and since you wouldn’t do that, well Jongdae is the best option. Obviously, the two of you have well,” he cleared his throat, “been intimate already, things would be more natural with him and things between the two of you could or would be more… uh.. Sexual than with us because. Normally most vampires who aren’t mates do it as part of,” he cleared his throat again and you could tell he was uncomfortable, “as part of sex but obviously this is different,” he said as if the last part was supposed to make you feel better. So it seemed blood sharing was something deeper and more sexual than you wanted it to be. Great. Wonderful. You hoped you wouldn’t need to feed off Yixing often.

Without much more thought you tried to move off Yixing’s lap so fast that your leg contorted in an awful angle and your ankle snapped. You cried out as Yixing studied you in his lap and quickly grabbed your ankle, inspecting it.

“Oh god. You broke your ankle.” He said as it started to turn colors and swell, “You’re so weak, Y/N. I’m sorry I scared you. I just wanted to be honest because your body is going to react and I didn’t want you to be weirded out or afraid. You need to feed now or you won’t heal so well. Please? I promise I’m just here to heal you. I won’t do anything to you but hold you. Okay? I promise. You can trust me. I just want you better.”

Your body shook as Yixing held your waist. You were afraid of too many things and the ache if your ankle wasn’t helping. Why did you have to feed at all? It made the situation messier than it already was and it frustrated you. 

“Please. Trust me. You only have to feed off of me, or one of the others,” he reminded, “a few times. If you would rather it be someone else, I won’t be offended,” he looked so deep into your eyes you were almost sure he could see your soul – well, if you still had one. “do you want one of the others?” he asked. 

Before you could stop your head from shaking, it did. “I only trust you,” you said sadly. 

Yixing grabbed your chin and turned it towards him as he turned his head away from you, showing you his neck, “Bite,” he said in a gentle voice. 

You had your hands so firmly on your thighs that you were sure you were bruising the skin but you were afraid. How did you bite? How did you get blood? How would you stop?

“You’ll know what to do,” Yixing said pulling your hands to rest them on his shoulder and rotating your body more towards his. “You can’t kill me or anything extreme so don’t worry about that. I’ll help you along the way, okay?”

You nodded. 

Gently, he pushed your head towards his neck and he said “Bite,” with more of a demand to his voice and it made a hotter warmth spread through you. A small ‘sorry’ escaped his lips as you felt his body tense beneath you. “Just bite down on my neck, okay? Let your body guide you.”

Your eyes slanted over to where his head was tilted away from you and you saw his eyes were tightly closed. Before he could say ‘bite’ in another tone that would drive you crazy, you dropped your lips towards his neck. 

“There you go,” he said quietly as your lips pressed against his warm skin. “You’re halfway there.”

There was a tightness that you could feel in your teeth as you felt what you assumed were your fangs exposing themselves. Gently, you felt them press against Yixing’s skin and while you wanted to sink them in instinctively, you were afraid if hurting him. 

“Go on,” he whispered through what sounded like gritted teeth. 

He gently pushed your head, making your fangs sink further into his skin until they were all the way in, causing Yixing to hiss. You were just about to pull back when he stopped you.

“I’m fine. It doesn’t hurt. Remember what I said? You won’t hurt me.” You remembered everything. Especially with the near ecstasy feeling you got from having your fangs in him. You felt wrong and you wanted to pull back. Immediately you thought of Jongdae and while your chest tightened, you couldn’t pull back for two reasons. One, it felt good and two, Yixing held you to his neck tightly. “Bite harder,” he instructed and you heard a heavy breath escape him when you did so. You could feel his flesh underneath your teeth and you were surprised how penetrable the skin actually was since it felt so tough. His pulse raced against your fangs and teeth. “Now you should know what to do, just suck.”

The situation felt incredibly intimate the way Yixing described but you tried not to get caught up in it. You began sucking at the wound you had created and blood flowed smoothly into your mouth. Yixin’s blood was thick and sweet. It made everything in you feel like it was coming to life again and it relieved your parched throat. You couldn’t ignore the heat between your legs no matter how hard you tried and how bad you felt. Yixing had grown noticeably aroused and while it was weird, you didn’t feel upset at him for it. He explained how this situation normally went down and that you both would react to it. It was normal and didn’t mean anything for the two of you. It didn’t mean anything that your body was reacting in the same way as Yixing’s. It didn’t.

Guilt was fogging you because you felt disloyal to Jongdae but you had to remind yourself that you didn’t owe him anything. He had turned you without your permission and whole you were his mate in some twisted way, you knew you still had free will. Besides, Yixing had gotten Jongdae’s okay.

Not that it mattered. 

It didn’t.

You didn’t owe anything to him, right?

Well, then why did you feel like you did?

Why were you feeling so sexually attracted to Yixing too?

Why did you trust him so much?

Why did you ignite with warmth when he touched you?

The thoughts were pushed away when Yixing rubbed your back gently with his visibly shaking hands. “You’re doing great,” he said with an unsteady tone. “Take what you need to feel better.”

You could feel Yixing’s arousal pressed against your thigh even though he tried to adjust you away from it and in that moment you wanted to feel his lips against you and his skin on yours. The thoughts overwhelmed you so much that a moan slipped from you and against Yixing’s neck. He stiffened more but continued to rub your back. You wanted Yixing’s hands on your bare skin and you were thankful you couldn’t speak because you were afraid of what you may ask in such a situation. 

Every now and then, you heard a breath pass his clenched teeth, but nothing more. Unfortunately, another moan passed your lips a bit after the other, causing you to flush and try to retract your teeth. Yixing stopped you by placing a hand back on your head. “Shh. It’s fine. Drink a bit more,” and you weren’t sure if he was asking you to for his sake or yours but the pleasure that flowed through you while drinking from him, made you feel like you could climax from the littlest of stimulation. You were immediately thankful you hadn’t drunk Jongdae’s blood because you could barely resist Yixing and you knew resisting Jongdae would be even harder. 

Eventually, you felt full and your teeth retracted on their own, leaving you with just lips pressed against Yixing. He was breathing heavily as you pulled away and your eyes met his again. He looked dazed and aroused at the same time. While you felt almost drunk, you also felt incredibly rejuvenated for the first time in a whole month. Your ankle was back to a normal color and it no longer ached. Unfortunately, you sexually ached now and you were sure so did Yixing. 

For a few moments, Yixing didn’t move you as he panted. “See what I mean?” he whispered. “it’s intense.”

Your throat was no longer constricted or dry, “Is it like this even for two strangers blood sharing?” you asked curiously. 

Yixing’s face contorted, “Well…” he trailed off ignoring your gaze.

“Yixing, I trust you please don’t make that any different.” 

He sighed, still trying to regain his composure as you noticed he was hard beneath you still. “No. Having a connection with the person makes it more intimate.” And immediately his words made you not want to ask any more questions. Something was between you and him, but you didn’t know what. 

When he sat up towards you fully, you noticed his extended fangs and you reached your hand out towards them. “Do you need to…?”

“Feed from you?” he asked in a low voice. “it was just a reaction to the situation. Me feeding on you… it would be much harder to control the situation and things could get much more inappropriate than they already have and that’s already more than you, me and Jongdae are comfortable with.” Yixing removed you gently from his lap and sat you on the bed. 

He stood up and tried his best to hide his arousal but you knew it was there.

“If you need anything, get either Jongdae, Minseok or Junmyeon. It’s best you and I stay away from each other for a while – just trust me. It should get easier with each feeding but if you need anything… you know, don’t be afraid to go to Jongdae.” You shivered at his insinuation.

And when he opened the door to leave, you could practically feel how near Jongdae was and you could see his shadow lurking around one of the corners. It was so easy to tune into Jongdae and especially now that you felt rejuvenated and refreshed.

Even though Yixing gave you one last sympathetic look before closing the door, you could hear their conversation which you assumed they didn’t intend.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Yixing hissed.

“I’m happy you can help her, but if you were in my position, you would be feeling the same,” Jongdae’s voice was sad and you felt your heart ache at his tone.

There was a pause before Yixing spoke. “You’re reading into this too much, Jongdae.”

“You should look in the mirror before saying that.”

“You know feedings are intimate.”

Jongdae scoffed, “Of course they are, but having a connection makes them intensified and I’m old enough to be able to see it in your eyes. You have feelings for her.” The anger that was emitting from Jongdae was so strong that you were sure that maybe the whole house could feel it.

“She’s yours, Jongdae. There’s no need to get defensive.”

Yixing must have walked away because Jongdae’s voice got louder. “When you can’t even deny feelings for her, I think I have every right to get defensive.”

You started to shake as you forced yourself to lose the connection with Jongdae. You pushed his voice to the back of your mind and even though you had regained your strength more so, you pulled the covers of your bed up to your chin and you tried to ignore the ache between your legs and the pain in your heart.

The dark garnet sparrow that was engraved on the skin of your hipbone, you wanted to burn it off. You wanted to burn it off, run away and never look back.

Yixing promised you the chance at a life with choices but hearing the way Jongdae spoke about you and feeling the way you did about him, reminded you that you had no choices when it came to your life. You would try to run away. When? You didn’t know but first, you would have to learn to control yourself, learn how to live this way, and then earn their trust.

Then you would slip away.


	4. Chapter 4

You had gotten stronger just from your own feeding off Yixing and while you still had kinks and aches in your body, you were assured it would get better – although, if you wanted it better faster, you needed to hang around Jongdae more.

But you didn’t want to. It felt dangerous and you had no control over how you acted around him.

You stuck to Yixing over the next few days even though he had said the two of you should spend time apart – it wasn’t your fault since he was the one coming to your room this time.

Yixing had started to train you – or well, he got Minseok to train you while he watched since Yixing seemed too afraid to put his hands near you lately. You didn’t blame him either because the eruption of warmth on your skin when he touched you was something you liked too much.

Which made you feel guilty.

Something you didn’t want to feel since you genuinely liked Yixing but yet, you were roped in by Jongdae.

No matter how hard you tried not to look at Jongdae, your eyes would end up following him like they were magnetized to him. Just the way you were doing now when Jongdae entered the room that you were training in. He was wearing all black and despite his agony of you not wanting to be around him, he walked with a confidence that made your body shake. You wanted him-

Minseok flipped you over on the mat and you landed on your back with a groan, causing Jongdae’s gaze to snap over to you and you felt the heat of his gaze. “Focus, Y/N,” Minseok said firmly. “It’s important you learn to defend yourself. Not that you’ll ever have to…” He trailed off for a sigh and you saw his gaze flick over next to you and you followed his eyes, seeing Jongdae standing close to you.

“Are you okay?” Jongdae said lowly, meeting your eyes as you looked at him.

You nodded and tried to look away, but you couldn’t. Your eyes were stuck on him. His beautiful dark eyes that were framed by strong brows drew you in as if you were his prey.

“Dae, she’s not a weak human anymore. I’m not going to be able to hurt her even if I wanted to,” Minseok pointed out and you winced. That was enough to pull your gaze from Jongdae. It was enough for you to look from him to Yixing who was sitting in the corner of the room and reading a book. His eyes met yours over the top of the book and he tried to give you a look of encouragement. 

“Again,” you said while pulling yourself up to your feet to go again.

Minseok gave you a simple nod and the two of you trained for the next couple of hours with both Yixing and Jongdae watching from the side.

This went on for about two weeks and you were getting better at defending against Minseok, even getting him on his back a few times which always put a devilish grin on his face. But by the end of the two weeks, you were weak again and your body was sore with bruises.

“Yixing,” Minseok said lowly, not trying to capture Jongdae’s attention but since you had been watching Jongdae for the past few moments, you saw him look up. His gaze didn’t meet yours and you saw it harden but somehow he still looked so angelic. You couldn’t help but be drawn to look at Jongdae because you were certain he was the most beautiful man you had ever laid your eyes on and so badly you wanted to be wrapped up in his arms again. Just to feel the sparks again. Jongdae met your eyes then and gave you a look telling you that he wanted the same thing and you wondered if he could read your mind. Even if so, you couldn’t look away. “She needs to feed.”

Jongdae stood, keeping his eyes on you, “She can feed from me.”

Minseok sighed, “You know that will complete the ritual-”

“I know,” Jongdae snapped. “I don’t mind.”

“But she might,” Minseok noted.

Groaning and smacking your hands against the mat on the ground you opened your mouth, “If we’re talking about me, can’t we talk to me?”

All three vampire’s eyes snapped to you, “I’m sorry, love,” Jongdae whispered and you stared at him intently before looking back to Minseok.

“What will complete?”

Minseok looked off into the distance.

Yixing stood up and walked closer to you, “If you won’t tell her, I will,” and while you didn’t look at Yixing, you knew he was talking to Jongdae.

“The mating ritual. It’s what I had… done to you by accident. If you bite me and inject me with your venom, our mate bond will be completed and there will be… certain effects. Now, we are stronger if we are together and use each other but once the bond is fully complete – well, there is a lot to it.”

You shook your head, “That sounds very forced.”

Minseok buts in, “Just don’t bite him until you’re ready, Y/N. Because once you do…” He stopped himself and cleared his throat, “You need to be sure he’s what you want.”

“Um, did you forget we’re mates? Of course, she is going to want to be with me.”

“That’s not what I want right now,” you half-lied and you sensed Yixing caught on because he looked at you.

You could feel the way Jongdae’s mood dropped, “And I will be waiting for you,” he said in a low tone, “But don’t forget that you’re in a house full of vampires that have mates they haven’t found yet.”

And with that, he left the room. 

You knew his words were directed towards you about Yixing and it made everything inside you twist.

“God,” Minseok mumbled and pulled you up from the mat, “He’s gotten grumpier since he found his mate. I sure hope we aren’t going to have this happen eight more times.”

Yixing shrugged, “Seven times at most, Sehun doesn’t want his mate.”

“I used to think we had to be with our mate,” Minseok admitted, “But I’m starting to think that we don’t have to and that we can love anyone,” He trailed off with a sigh, “Everything is different than we expected.”

You stared at Yixing as he shook his head, “No. We are destined to be with our mates, Minseok,” he said but you didn’t fully believe his tone.

Minseok nodded slowly, "Sure. So do you want me to feed Y/N, then?” He offered and you automatically sunk back away from him.

Yixing glared at him, “I’ll do it. Just go.”

“Are you sure you want to do it here?” Minseok asked quietly.

“It’s better here,” Yixing said through gritted teeth.

Minseok was gone after a few moments and Yixing sighed and stood in front of you, “Are you hungry?” He said with his gentle voice, all of the edge that it once held was gone.

You shrugged your shoulders because you weren’t sure. Was that the reason that your throat was on fire or why you wanted Jongdae today more than any day?

“Do you want to feed from me again, or do you have someone else in mind?”

You bit at your lip, “I assume you’re the safest option.”

“I’m not sure about that,” he mumbled, giving you a look and you knew the meaning behind it. The two of you wouldn’t speak of it though because there was an elephant in the room. A.K.A, your soul mate. You were starting to develop feelings for Yixing and maybe he was developing his too but there was absolutely no way you could go anywhere with it. He had a soul mate of his own in the world waiting for him and the thought made your stomach hurt the same way it did when you thought of hurting Jongdae.

He pulled you closer to him by your wrist, “Come, let’s get you fed.”

Since he had a height advantage on you, it would be hard to reach his neck properly so Yixing had sat in the chair he was sitting in earlier with a sigh. He patted his lap once he was settled for you to sit down but you just stared at him. “Yixing,” you said gently.

“What is it, darling?”

“Are you uncomfortable with this?” And honestly, you already knew the answer. Both of you were uncomfortable by this - or maybe too comfortable, you couldn’t be sure. It was strange how wrong things felt when they didn’t involve Jongdae. But you were still bitter. Bitter that you didn’t have a say in life.

Yixing let out a deep breath and pulled you down to sit on his lap with your thighs sideways across his just the way you had been last time. Warmth spread throughout you and it made your body tingle. “It’s not that. It’s a lot of things. I just don’t think that any of us were prepared for this whole situation. Just don’t worry, okay? We all care about you and want the best for you. Especially Jongdae and in the end, you guys will work it out.”

The words fell out before you could stop them, “What about you?”

Yixing smiled, “I may have taken to you,” he said softly before turning his head to give you his neck, “If I hadn’t, you would be stuck feeding from someone else - possibly Chanyeol, or,” he laughed, “worse, Baekhyun.”

You just looked at him for a moment. Yixing was stunningly beautiful and in fact so was everyone in this house. You felt as if your looks paled in comparsion so you couldn’t understand why Jongdae wanted you to himself or why Yixing seemed to have a slight bias for you. Maybe you were a vampire now, but other than the occasional red eyes, you looked the same.

"What’s that expression about?” He asked turning towards you.

You shrugged, “I’m so average. How did I have this destiny to be around the most beautiful people in existence when I’m not extravagant?”

Yixing raised a brow, “Oh, darling, how you are wrong. You’ve got the whole house of vampires turned upside down over your beauty. Baekhyun is the worst and you don’t know how many times he has been choked or pinned down by Jongdae for his thoughts. Besides, it’s more than that. You are extraordinary and have so many qualities that our family hasn’t seen in a while. We needed someone strong, stubborn, and caring the way you are.”

Giving Yixing a smile, you resisted the urge to nuzzle into his neck, “You guys are way better than what I would have imagined vampires to be.”

Yixing raised his other brow, “And how did you imagine us to be?”

“Blood sucking jerks, you know the whole deal?”

And with a quick flick of his hand, he had his fingers twisted in your hair gently and he pulled back your head to expose you neck. Before you could even let out so much as a breath, you felt his teeth against your neck which you hadn’t felt since Jongdae bit you. For some reason though, you weren’t afraid. Instead, the feeling of his teeth and fangs against your skin thrilled you and the impulse you felt to bite was growing so strongly that you felt you were spinning out of control.

“Like this?” He asked against your neck.

But you couldn’t even nod.

“Do you understand how it feels to be bit?” He asked gently. “It’s extreme. It feels like all of your nerves are on fire. I assume the first time you were bit, that it hurt, didn’t it?” You nodded. “It wouldn’t hurt again, I assure you.” His words chilled your bones even though you were warm from his touch. “Do you want me to show you? Maybe, you’ll rethink things with Jongdae then.” But all Jongdae’s name did was make you feel guilt you didn’t want to feel with Yixing’s teeth against your neck.

This time you nodded though, you wanted to be bit again and you almost felt like you were in a trance. You trusted Yixing and you couldn’t imagine a better person to show you – even if you knew it was wrong. The red sparrow on your hip proved who you belonged to but in that moment, you didn’t want to think of it.

Yixing let out a low groan and pressed his fangs into your skin so quickly that you didn’t even feel the small pinch they had made when they pierced the top layer of skin. Your whole body ignited with Yixing’s warmth as his fangs dug into your skin. Goosebumps rose on your skin and you had started to shake. Instead of the pain you felt from Jongdae’s fangs, you felt good – too good and then Yixing started sucking at your neck, pulling blood from your veins and causing you to slump in his hold. A feeling that could only be explained as ecstasy wracked your body and all you wanted was to be closer to Yixing, more intimate. You wanted him in ways you shouldn’t and it was causing you to pant.

And he pulled away quickly, grabbing you tightly to hold you up. “Do you understand why it’s so hard for me to stay sane now?” He said lowly with his eyes a bright shade of red that had never looked more beautiful. You couldn’t speak at first because you were trying to form coherent words that didn’t involve the fact that you wanted to rip his clothes off.

“I-I… I see,” you stuttered. “Does it always feel like that for you?”

Yixing winced, “I haven’t blood shared with many others before-” and when your eyes widened, he patted your head, “yes, you are special. But with the others… no, it didn’t feel the way that it feels now. You are quite different,” he said and while you wanted a better explanation, you didn’t dare go there. It felt too dangerous. “Now drink up, darling.”

He gave you his neck again and you didn’t hesitate so much this time. Mostly because if you didn’t get away from Yixing soon, you might embarrass yourself. Your fangs sunk into his skin and Yixing tried to bite back his groan that still managed to escaped. You sucked more roughly than you had last time due to your excitement and it made Yixing clutch at your waist desperately.

You had only drank from him a few moments before you felt full and rejuvenated so you slowly retracted noticing the warmth between your legs and Yixing’s arousal beneath you. You were surely going to combust if you didn’t get distance so you quickly got up from his lap and stood against the wall next to him, trying to catch your breath. “It’s so intense,” you whispered.

Letting out a shaky breath, Yixing nodded and dropped his head to his hands. “You have no idea.”

“Yixing?”

“Mmm?”

“What’s your soulmate mark?”

You hadn’t known why you had asked, but something in the back of your head had pressed you too and before you could think the question through, it had flown from your mouth.

“Why do you ask?” He quickly asked while his voice shook.

“I don’t know. It just came out.”

“Well, I guess I can’t hide it from you long,” and his words made your heart beat against your chest too roughly.

He stood slowly, stretching his body as he did so and then he walked close to you. Too close because you could smell the scent that was Yixing and you were already having trouble resisting him.

Slowly, he pulled up the side of his shirt and tugged gently at his jeans, exposing his hipbone. You gasped as you saw the same sparrow that you had on your hip reflected on his own. Reaching out to touch it, Yixing flinched but let you do so. The skin there was cold, unlike the rest of Yixing’s body and it made you pull your hand away. Instead of the red that your and Jongdae’s sparrows were, it was a deep blue. What did it mean?

Yixing had a look on his face that said you were just as confused as he was. “I don’t know what it means but the reason I told Jongdae to stay away from you that night that he had first saw you was because I had an instinct the moment I saw you. I’m obviously not your mate… but I don’t know what this means. I’ve never seen anyone have the same soulmate mark like this before…”

And while it shocked you, you knew that Yixing baring the same mark as you must have hurt Jongdae and that made everything inside you ache.

Deep down you had a feeling that there would be plenty of hurt to go around in no time - and that scared you, further pushing you to want to get the hell out of their house as quickly as possible.

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽

You were trying to be the best student you could in the following weeks. Every day you would train with Minseok and if not with him than with Junmyeon or Kyungsoo. Yixing would watch alongside Jongdae and you found it easier to be friendly with those around you – including Jongdae.

Once you stopped feeding from Yixing – which you had to after the third time and the two of you almost kissed, so the two of you decided you needed to start going for blood bags – it was easier to welcome Jongdae’s presence.

Now he would come to your room and talk to you some nights and you no longer tried breaking his bones. You started to learn more about him. Like that he had a beautiful singing voice and he occasionally wrote poems – which he shyly admitted.

He learned more about you and what you wanted to do with your life and to your surprise, he encouraged you to do whatever you wish.

You had begun to feel comfortable and by the time you had passed your four months as a vampire you realized that you were too comfortable. You had started classes at college again and you were continuing your nursing degree.

It was amazing how much easier it was to study as a vampire and you found yourself aceing and passing everything thrown at you with ease. 

Thanks to Yixing, you had managed to even test through a few courses and shorten your time to graduation which you welcomed. The sooner you graduated, the sooner you could leave and that alone was enough to keep your head buried in your books.

For the most part, you were left on your own to do as you please - if you weren’t being bothered by Chanyeol or harassed by Baekhyun.

Yixing and you had gotten better at keeping your distance from each other although it was more on his side than yours. You ached to spend time with him and every time you passed him and inhaled his scent, you felt like you may pass out.

And his lips.

You couldn’t stop staring at his lips since the two of you had nearly kissed just several weeks ago. The worst part of it that you were still wearing the shame of, was that the only thing that stopped it from happening was Kyungsoo walking in on the two of you.

Kyungsoo had looked at you with disappointment and since he had been helping train you, you felt the brunt of his look. It bothered you that he was disappointed in you because the worst part about Kyungsoo was he was very quiet and now, it seemed he had gotten even quieter.

Even when he was training you, it had seemed he chose to keep quiet other than correcting.

Yixing didn’t sit on your training much anymore whereas Jongdae never missed one and there were times - like recently, he had taken to training you himself.

“Come on my sweet Primrose,” Jongdae whispered from behind you, his arms in a tight vice around you. Lately, you were learning much more defense and while you felt like there was a reason for it, Jongdae and the others tried to assure you it was just in case. You didn’t mind much because even though you were starting to enjoy being around the house of vampires, you still needed to get away.

At least for a while.

You needed to know what you wanted and there wasn’t a way you could truthfully decide unless you had some alone time.

“Break away, Prim,” Junmyeon ordered from where he stood by the mat, using the nickname that Jongdae had created for you in the past couple of weeks. “His hold is only as strong as you’ll allow it to be.”

Closing your eyes and licking your lips, you tried to channel the strength that you could. The same strength you used to break Jongdae’s neck before but it was nowhere to be found.

Your body was reveling in the way Jongdae’s molds perfectly to yours and the way you could feel the hard curves of his body. It made you tremble and instead of giving you strength, it made you weaker as you slumped in his arms.

“That’s the opposite of what you should be doing,” Jongdae mumbled with what feels like a smile on his lips. He tightened his arms further around you, causing your bones to start to ache but also making your heart race. “Get away from me, my love, I know it’s what you really want. You seem too comfortable in my arms. Just the way you were that night.”

But you couldn’t move, you just let out a little whimper and when you swear you feel Jongdae growing aroused behind you, Junmyeon groaned. “You are jeopardizing her training, Dae. Make her angry, not aroused.”

Jongdae scoffed, “I’m not going to make her angry,” he said releasing his steel grip and just holding you gently. His chin nuzzled your neck, “Find someone else to do that.”

Junmyeon gave him a look, “Is that what you want?”

But before he could answer, Baekhyun came strolling into the room, “I heard you guys going at it from the top floor,” his sly gaze trailed over to you, “it looks like you’re starting to have effects on your little kitten, after all,” Baekhyun noted and your cheeks flushed. 

Okay, so maybe you had gotten slightly aroused from Jongdae and the fact that vampires could sense it made your whole body heat with embarrassment.

Grabbing your hand, Jongdae squeezed and pressed a gentle kiss to your neck. “Ignore him, he’s just bitter,” Jongdae whispered with a laugh.

Lately, you had been embracing touches and affection with Jongdae easily and you weren’t sure why. But it felt right so you let it happen against your better judgment.

“At first,” Baekhyun said, walking lazily around the mat you were standing on and his eyes watched you like you were his prey - a slight red tone to them. “I thought it was only Yixing who could arouse you,” both your and Jongdae’s bodies froze at Baekhyun’s words, “But it seems both can do so now.”

Junmyeon let out a shaky breath.

“Have you thought of a threesome, Jongdae? You could share her with Yixing because after all, we all know that the three of you share similar marks.” Jongdae’s hands turned to fists and you felt Junmyeon come over and drop a hand on his shoulder.

“Although, you could share with me too. I happen to find your mate very attractive… but Yixing probably wouldn’t allow that. Don’t you think he’s taken to her a little too fondly? And she to him? Isn’t it fucked up that she loves someone other than her mate-” but you couldn’t listen to another second of Baekhyun talking and you pushed out of Jongdae’s tight hold and lunged at Baekhyun.

He had you spun around in a second and you were now stuck in the same hold Jongdae had held you in except for this time, you weren’t comfortable. Baekhyun’s skin against yours made you shake with anger.

“What, Kitten? Are you upset that I’m saying the truth?”

You felt your eyes flash and the red take them over as you shook.

“I know that you almost kissed him,” he whispered in your ear and chills racked down your spine, “I know what you want to do to him-”

With a growl, you bit down on Baekhyun’s arm with fully extended fangs and caused Baekhyun to yelp. Once you had bitten as hard as you could, you used all of your strength to push out of his hold and for a moment your vision went black.

The moment your vision came back, you heard Baekhyun let out a high pitched scream and you realized you had him painfully pinned to the ground.

Jongdae laughed and rubbed your back gently, “That’s my girl.”

“Is anyone going to get her off me?” Baekhyun squeaked.

Junmyeon shrugged, “You’ve been talking about wanting her on top of you for some time,” he admitted.

“Maybe now you will stop your talking about my mate, Baekhyun. Clearly, if she wanted you she wouldn’t have her elbow dug into your dick,” Jongdae said pointing to where you were doing just that.

“Who knew that her defensives were so good? All we needed was Baekhyun to piss her off,” Junmyeon laughed.

Patting your back and gently lifting you up from Baekhyun, Jongdae gave you a genuine smile. “You did so well, Y/N.”

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽ 

The next few months you had nearly forgotten the life you had before Jongdae. No longer did you crave to leave this life behind because you felt more comfortable than you had in your life. 

Being closer to Jongdae had so many positive benefits that you had begun to share a bed with him - not that you would get intimate with him because Jongdae never tried and he would only touch you if you allowed him to. 

He wasn’t trying to push himself on you and gave you the space you asked for when you asked for it. It seemed he was trying to keep you the best he could. 

Normally, the two of you would stay in bed till noon due to your late-night college classes and the few businesses the clan had that Jongdae kept up with the books on – but today was different. 

Something stirred inside you and woke you before the sun had even risen. The feeling in the pit of your stomach told you to call your sister and while you had called her a week ago, you called her again. 

Only so often would you keep in touch with your sister because she couldn’t know you as you were now and if she knew, she would be put into danger. She wasn’t one to believe supernatural things and most likely she would try to fight Jongdae for touching you – well, that is if she cared about you the way she once did. 

There was something different with her now and you often heard her sniffling to herself every time you called – and your sister wasn’t a chronic crier. The two of you had talked briefly today and only then did her tears remind you of what the day was. The death anniversary of your parents. 

You hadn’t even thought of them since you had been turned and the thought made you depressed. How would they have felt if they were alive? Their little girl was now a vampire and living with a house full of men. That thought made you laugh because your father would have had a fit. 

With thoughts of your parents on your mind, you drifted outside to get some fresh air and some space away from Jongdae. Rolling out of bed, you wrapped a rob around your pajama clad body and you headed down the stairs. You knew you wouldn’t have much time alone because the other vampires would hear that you were awake soon so you tried your best to be quiet while you hurried. 

Not only would Jongdae come for you, but you would be annoyed by Baekhyun if he thought no one was around. Clearly, nothing you could do would scare him off.

Sitting outside during the morning was something you had enjoyed and you were thankful that even being a vampire didn’t restrict that the way the tales did. The most it did, was cause your skin to tingle. However, it was only eight in the morning when you felt your skin begin to tingle even more and when you looked behind you, you saw messy-haired Yixing standing behind you. 

Yixing was the first to find you outside only moments after you had sat down on the wrought iron bench. You knew Yixing could sense the change in your demeanor this morning because his eyes were soft as he looked at you. 

You could still feel your heart ache as you looked at him. While you craved Jongdae in a way, there were ways you craved Yixing and it made staying away from him hard. Which you had been trying to stay away from him in the past months and it was hard. The two of you still talked and he brought you books on occasions but no more blood sharing took place. In fact, he would stay as far away from you as he could when the two of you were in the same room. 

It didn’t matter how far he was from you though because you could feel his eyes on you constantly and you were sure that he too could feel your eyes on him. 

“You’re distressed,” he said as more of a statement than a question. 

“How did you know?” You asked as you flicked your eyes back out into the forest that was behind the manor. 

Your ears twitched as you listened to Yixing’s quiet steps towards you. “I always know." 

Tapping your fingers against your arm, you sighed. "That’s cryptic." 

A small laugh escaped him, "We just have a connection – maybe on my end more than yours, but I can feel a lot of your emotions,” he admitted. 

“How do you know they aren’t your own emotions?” You wondered with a raised eyebrow as he sat next to you, maintaining a proper distance between the two of you. 

Looking out into the forest, Yixing contorted his face, “I can feel that it’s you. Trust me. Nice to know it’s only me that picks up on you,” he said giving you a playful nudge of his elbow. 

A smile played at the corner of your lips, “If I could pick up on your emotions, I would. Trust me." 

Yixing said nothing to that. 

You watch as the leaves of the forest trees ripple in the soft wind. Every soft movement reminded you that even though you were undead, that you were alive. The littlest things in the world continued to move around you making your thoughts drift back to your parents who unlike you, never got the chance to fully live. Now that you had believed in the supernatural since well, you had to, you wondered if there was a way to connect to them or to talk to them somehow. Were they in heaven? If so, could you speak to someone in heaven? 

But were you even allowed? Weren’t you an abomination? Would God even accept you? 

The world was a mystery to humans but you thought that it had to be just as much so for the supernatural – whatever else there was out there that you had yet to ask about. 

"Do ghosts exist?" 

Yixing’s gaze snapped over to you once more, "Why do you ask?" 

You didn’t want to talk about them out loud. You wanted to mourn in silence. "I’m curious." 

"They do but there is more to that answer than just that. I’m not the best person to ask about that. Actually, it’s Sehun." 

Choking on air, you looked at him, "Sehun has an interest in something other than himself?" 

Yixing gave you a smile, his dimples deepening, "Surprisingly, yes. He lost a close friend some time ago so he learned everything he could – but don’t mention the friend,” and you swear Yixing flinched when he said that. 

“I guess if I really want to know, I’ll have to really psych myself up to it." 

"I’m sure he’ll overhear this conversation since he loves hearing about himself,” Yixing laughed nudging you again. 

“I’m certain that at this point I know more about him than he knows about me – and there isn’t much too Sehun.” Anytime you had been around Sehun was filled with him talking himself up and rambling about how good he looked. It made you laugh because even though it was arrogant, you found it adorable while at first you never thought you could see Sehun as adorable seeing as how he initially looked intimidating to you. 

Now the thought of any of the vampires in the house being intimidating seemed like a joke. They all proved to be soft and fluffy in their own ways and it still never ceased to amaze you. 

“So, are you feeling better?” Yixing asked as you continued to watch the leaves dance. 

“You tell me that,” you replied. 

You weren’t feeling better but you were distracted at least, and you guessed that was a good start. There was a time when you couldn’t be distracted from mourning them but it had been seven years since they had died and just like you almost had, you often forgot their death anniversary. It never hurt any less that they were gone but it just got easier. Never better, but at least easier. “I’m getting mixed signals,” he whispered. 

Shouldn’t your life had gotten less complicated as a vampire? Not having to worry about the things you used to as a human and definitely having fewer needs? No, it only got more complicated. 

Especially since you were stuck between two vampires. 

It was something you didn’t admit often but you knew you had feelings for Jongdae and Yixing now that you had the chance to be around the both of them without anything intimate happening. 

Mixed signals was right because that’s exactly what your heart was sending you and you couldn’t help but miss the days when you had no interest in men. Times before Jongdae, Yixing, and the red flash of your eyes. 

Sometimes you wanted to burn the damn mate mark off your hip but it was always no more than a thought because you were too much of a victim to the way Yixing sent you warmth and Jongdae sent you sparks. 

“Y/N?” Jongdae called out from the door leading to where you were sitting. 

You turned back towards him and saw his disheveled appearance. Taking it in, you sighed and stood up. “I’ll talk to you later, Yixing.” But you weren’t so sure you would since Yixing and you didn’t talk much anymore. Was it because he caught you staring at his lips or because you caught him staring at your lips nearly every time? 

Jongdae reached out for you as you neared him and when his fingers brushed your skin, the sparks ignited. “Are you okay?” He asked in a frantic tone, “I had a bad dream." 

Wrapping your hand around his wrist, you pulled him back into the house, "I’m okay,” you lied. When had you gotten so soft for Jongdae? You hadn’t known and you didn’t want to think of it as you pulled him up the stairs and back into the bedroom you shared with him. 

For hours, you let him nuzzle into your neck as he told you about his dream that sent chills down your spine. 

He mentioned your parents and how they had died. 

In fact, he had seen how they died in his dream. 

You didn’t know the connection or how Jongdae had seen the exact details of your parents’ death but you couldn’t shake the feeling of impending doom that spread throughout your bones. 

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽ 

Awaking from a soft sleep, you felt Jongdae’s arm around your waist. You turned around to look at him, not even remembering falling asleep. 

Jongdae’s eyes were wide and it was then that you noticed the bags under them. It wasn’t from lack of sleep because if anything, the two or you had gotten even more sleep together lately. Unintentionally, your hand shot out to rub the circles under his eyes. “What’s wrong?” You found yourself asking. 

He tried to shake it off as if it was nothing and he just pulled you closer. “It’s nothing, my dear Primrose." 

"Jongdae,” you spoke firmly. 

His eyes wouldn’t meet yours as he said, “I’m hungry." 

You stared unblinkingly, "When is the last time you fed?" 

Silence. 

Grabbing his cheeks, you watched his eyes grow wider, "When was the last time you fed?” You reiterated. 

“Love-" 

"Dammit, Jongdae. How come I was forced to feed when you can just go hungry and expect me not to care?" 

He sighed, "I don’t expect you to care. I’m okay just caring about you." 

Shaking your head, and tightened your grip on him, "I know that I don’t always treat you the best and I’m still working everything out, but I do care about you, Jongdae. Now tell me,” you went on, “when was the last time you fed?" 

"When I bit you,” he mumbled, shame crossing his face. 

Your heart sunk and you felt your body shaking, “Jongdae, you’ve got to be kidding me! If that’s true, why haven’t you fed?" 

Tears brimmed his eyes, "I just… knowing… what I did to you, I didn’t feel like I deserved to feed and I knew you were hurting and it didn’t seem fair. I wanted to hurt too since I had hurt you. I’ve felt guilty just looking at blood since my last memory is of turning you." 

A tear fell and you wiped it away, "Oh, Jongdae. Please don’t starve because of me. I’m not hurting anymore, okay?" 

In that moment, you realized how weak he looked and how much skinnier he had gotten in the past year. "How have you lasted so long being well?" 

Licking his lips, he looked you in the eyes, burning you straight to your soul. "The last blood I had was yours and your blood makes me the strongest." 

He had lasted a whole year without feeding and it made you sick considering that to feel good, you needed to feed weekly and daily if you were training. "I wish you hadn’t done that,” you whispered, feeling a tear fall from your eyes, “I never wanted you to be hurt." 

Jongdae wiped it away and brushed his fingers across your pouting lips, "I’ve done so much damage to you. You are the one who didn’t deserve it." 

Before any coherent thought could form in your head, you pressed your lips to Jongdae’s, causing him to gasp in response. He kissed you back, pressing his fingers into your hair and your whole body seemed to light up with his sparks. You trembled under his hold but this just made you grasp his face tighter. The taste of Jongdae’s lips was something you hadn’t tasted in so long that it almost felt new. 

You had never done drugs before but you imagined this is what drugs tasted like to an addict. Jongdae pulled away after a moment and he looked at you with bright red eyes. "Why did you do that?” He asked with a pant to his voice. 

With a shrug, you dropped your hands from his face and placed them on his neck, “I don’t know. It just felt right." 

A coy smile spread onto his lips. "You have no idea how happy that makes me." 

His warm red eyes were searching your face and then you knew what you needed to do. Jongdae had been so good to you. Standing by, not pushing a relationship on you, letting you feed from someone other than him and then not even keeping you from that same person when he knew you two had feelings for each other. So easily he could have tried to force the relationship on you, but he didn’t. He just stood on the sides, waiting for you to come to him and until you were comfortable. He offered to heal you and to give you his blood, no matter how much you declined and he offered his heart, no matter how much you threw it on the ground. 

Jongdae wasn’t the evil forceful man you thought of him to once be. He was good and as good as good could get. So, you would let him feed on you because he needed the strength and deserved it for offering you the same when you were weak. "Feed on me, Dae." 

He froze. "What?" 

"Feed from me." 

"Are you sure?” He asked hesitantly but you saw his red irises start to shake. 

You nodded and pulled his head down to your neck, “Please. Just don’t go too far,” and you didn’t have to say in what way because you knew that he knew. 

“You don’t have to do this,” he reminded with his lips gentle on your neck, “I can feed from anything." 

You shook your head, "I want it to be me." 

Jongdae pulled his head back up so his eyes could meet yours and he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, "I have years of control,” he stopped for a moment, “I know the first time was an accident but I promise, if and when you want me to stop, I can. It won’t be like the first time." 

"I know what it’s like,” you said without thinking. 

Closing his eyes, Jongdae sighed, “I know. Yixing feed from you.” The hurt etched onto his face looked so permanent that you wanted to do anything to take it away. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry." 

He half-smiled, "It’s okay. You have free will to feed on whomever or to be fed from. Just like now. Okay? So don’t take anything you don’t want." 

But you wanted it. You wanted to help and heal Jongdae. Maybe it was because you were vulnerable about your parents’ death seven years ago or maybe it Jongdae was finally breaking your resolve. Either way, you wanted to feel his fangs in your neck the way you had felt Yixing’s. "Please. Just bite me." 

After a few minutes, Jongdae moved back to your neck, pressing kisses on the skin before running his fangs against the delicate skin. "Are you sure?” He said in a sultry voice 

“Yes." 

His fangs pressed into your skin all at once and you slumped into his arms and into the bed. He was gentle as he pulled you closer to him and began to suck at your skin. You felt blood being pulled away from your veins and into his mouth and it made a moan escape your lips. Jongdae groaned in response and bit down harder but it didn’t hurt the way you thought it would and it just spread the feeling of ecstasy through your body. Sparks bounced around inside you and it left you a shaking mess in Jongdae’s arms. You could feel yourself getting wet just from the contact and it made you press your legs tightly together. 

Jongdae’s hand caressed your waist as he continued drawing blood from your neck and you swore you could feel his hand trembling as well. When you pushed yourself closer to him, a moan fell from his lips and vibrated against your skin. You felt warm – too warm and you wanted Jongdae’s clothes off. You wanted to feel his naked body against yours so you could feel every little spark that each cell of his skin drew on your body. 

It took everything in you not to grab at his pants the moment you felt how hard he was and thankfully, at that point, Jongdae pulled his fangs from you and gently licked at the place his fangs had been. His breath was catching in his throat as he cleaned your neck gently. 

"That’s not even half of how intense that can be,” he said in a low and cracked voice. 

His eyes were no longer red and the bags underneath were faded as you watched. 

“I feel much better, thank you." 

Jongdae had never looked more beautiful than in that moment, you thought. You wanted all of him, to yourself, forever. "I want you,” you mumbled. 

Your eyes were red and you could feel the stark difference in them as Jongdae caressed your cheek, “Blood sharing makes you feel that way. Don’t let it sway you, my love. As much as I want to have you only mine forever, I’m not going to do anything you’re not ready for." 

"No. I want you. Forever,” you said firmly. Part of you felt like you were spinning out of control, while the other part felt perfectly sane. Blood sharing was surely clouding you from thinking straight but it didn’t matter to you. Jongdae was your mate for life no matter what. The sparrow on your hip proved as much, so why not take it a step further? 

“What are you asking for?” He said in a broken voice. 

“I want to feed from you." 

His brown eyes were wide, "That will complete the mating ritual and you will be bond to me eternally – you will really be my Primrose then. Are you sure that’s what you want?" 

You nodded, feeling in somewhat of a trance. "I’m already yours. I can feel it in my bones." 

A skeptical look was on his face, "I don’t know love. It feels a little risky. I’m not sure you’re ready for that – you still have feelings for Yixing." 

"I want you. I like you, Jongdae. Please. I want this. Please." 

Rolling over on his back, Jongdae pulled you on top of him. "If you truly want this, bite me. I won’t stop you, but you need to know what this entitles, love-” but before he could go on, you were leaning down and pressing your lips to his neck. His words got lost on his tongue and he snapped his mouth closed. 

Your fangs brushed his neck and you felt a thrill running through you. Without further thinking, you pressed your fangs into him and before you could stop it, you sucked at his blood gently. Jongdae quivered underneath you and moaned uncontrollably. His arousal was apparent under you and it throbbed just as you felt your core do as you pressed yourself closer to his body and rubbed yourself gently against him. 

Jongdae’s hands shot up and clutched your hip bones to keep you from moving as your fangs dug deeper into his skin and caused his hips to buck gently against yours. You could feel him lose control and unravel underneath you and it made you smile. 

The moment you stopped sucking his blood and went to pull your fangs free, you felt venom eject from your fangs and into his veins. Jongdae’s grip grew so tight on you that you swore you would break as he moaned out your name. 

Sparks erupted more than they ever had and you felt like your whole body was electrocuted but yet in a blissful way instead of painful. You felt more pleasure doing so than any orgasm you had ever felt and it left you breathless. Eventually, your fangs retracted and you slumped down onto Jongdae. 

“Wow,” Jongdae gritted out. 

You closed your eyes, “I think I love you,” you heard yourself say. 

It felt like an out of body experience as the words tumbled from your mouth. You wanted to scream and take them back, but you couldn’t because they were true. You just completed the mating bond ritual with Jongdae and now you were bound to him. And you were scared. 

“You know I love you,” Jongdae said trying to catch his breath. “So much. And now you’re really mine,” he said nuzzling into you. 

Coming down from your high, you started to feel fear and panic wash over you and all you knew was that you had to get out of here and out of Jongdae’s arms.

What had you just done?

You could feel the way your heart had stopped and the way your pulse hammered against your wrists.

You had to leave. You couldn’t love him. You couldn’t be his mate. You couldn’t be here. 

Why? 

Because you were scared. 

Terrified. 

And while you couldn’t give that many good reasons to leave, you knew you had to or you felt you were going to go insane. 

☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽ 

Packing very little things into a small backpack, you watched Jongdae’s sleeping form with fear. The moment you left, he would know and you had no idea how much this mate bond intensified it all so you had to be quick. All of your days running with Junmyeon would finally come in handy. 

You were leaving Jongdae and while it hurt, you couldn’t stop your feet from getting you the hell out of there. 

He was your mate. 

He loved you. 

And you were starting to love him. 

It would be easy to stay and accept this love but you couldn’t. 

You weren’t one for easy and you weren’t one to fall for fate. 

There was part of you that wanted to stay and curl up into his arms forever but another part of you was afraid of the way you could now hear Jongdae’s heart beat in your head and you felt a constant spark in your chest.

But the moment you had your bag over your back and you were out the back door of the manor, you felt warmth and your eyes shot to beside you to where Yixing had appeared. “You can’t leave,” he said in a desperate voice. 

Your hands that clutched the straps of the bag, trembling as your knuckles turned white. You maybe loved Yixing too yet you had decided to complete the mating bond and nothing made you feel sicker. You had to leave. This proved it. Staying would only hurt you, Jongdae, and Yixing. “What?” You asked quietly, hoping not to wake Jongdae who was probably only stirring from his sleep as you noticed a change in his heartbeat pattern. 

“You completed the bond,” and the hurt was evident on his face, “so you can’t leave." 

You looked down at your feet, "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to." 

"Yes, you did. And that’s okay, he’s your mate. But you can’t leave." 

"I didn’t mean to hurt you,” you whispered. 

He walked over to you and grabbed your chin to pull your gaze up, “You’ll hurt me if you leave, darling." 

"But I have to,” you argued in a small voice. “I can’t be here. It’s too much.” And while your mind told you that you had a good reason to leave, your heart was screaming otherwise.

Yixing’s lips trembled. “If you leave, you’ll die." 

"What?” You asked in shock. 

He nodded solemnly. “Once the mating bond is complete, if you leave your mate and are away from them for too long, you will slowly die – regardless of how much blood you get your hands on. You will die just from not being around Jongdae… and so will he. It’s one of the only ways you can truly die." 

You could feel your pupils shake from this new information. "But why?" 

"It’s just how it is,” he said as his hand on your chin sent you warmth, “That’s why it was suggested you wait until you’re ready." 

Yixing must have thought the information would make you stay but if anything, it only scared you more. You were shaking so much that you could barely see straight but you knew you had to get out of there. The fact that you could die without Jongdae only made you want to run away more and your mind started to reject any sane thought that tried to press into your head. "I’m sorry,” you whispered as you lifted up to press your lips gently to Yixing’s. 

You felt a tear drop from your eyes and land onto Yixing’s cheek. His eyes were closed and you felt his arm wrap around your wrist as you continued to kiss him. In your head, you were saying ‘sorry’ over and over to both him and Jongdae. Warmth filled your body once more before you pulled away from the kiss and before he could open his eyes, you shook yourself from his hold and ran. As fast as you could. 

The last thing you could hear was his voice calling for you as the warmth escaped your body and you went cold.


	5. Two Years Later

2 years later  
While everything about the dark rainy day appeared to be normal, you knew better. As you walked home from your job at the nearby hospital you were on your guard. Certainly, everyone passing by you thought you were crazy with the way your eyes flitted around the too dark alleyways and the small crevices beside buildings. The way your white sneakers were tapping against the sidewalk was echoing in your ears in an unnatural way and it had your pulse racing.

You had just changed towns and you really weren’t ready to leave again but this strange day was telling you different.

That morning everything seemed as usual and boring even, but as two o’clock rolled around – the hospital grew eerily quiet. You worked in the ER as a nurse and it wasn’t common for you to have a second to yourself, and somehow you managed to not have a single thing to do until you got off at five. That wasn’t all, though. The locker room was also freezing when you entered and you swore you could smell a strong cologne that seemed too familiar no matter how hard you tried to block it out as you trembled and goose bumps grew over your skin.

While you were afraid, you weren’t at the same time. You knew you could protect yourself from the monsters who haunted your life but you also knew that one of those same monsters had a hold on you that you couldn’t shake. A bond. You were reminded of it every day when you felt the invisible strings tying you back to the place you ran away from pulling at your skin. It was only a matter of time before they found you here and you would have to leave another town you had grown to like.

It had been two years since you had run away from your fate at the age of twenty-one. Each day that you were gone, was making you weaker and you could feel the effects on your body. Yixing had told you what would happen to you when you ran away and while at first, you didn’t believe them, within the first month you started to feel it. At the point you were now you had bags under your eyes that were permanent, your faint muscles seemed to be fading, and you were bruised sporadically from head to toe. It was evident that you were, in fact dying. Your body was slowly breaking down but nothing could make you go back. Although, you knew better.

Running away was hard but staying away, was even harder. Falling to his feet would be easy because, well, because he was special even if you didn’t want to admit it.

Your heart started racing as you made your way up the decaying wooden stairs to your apartment. There was a chill in the air so your elderly neighbors that were normally outside were nowhere to be seen and even though there was a logical reasoning for it, it still made you scared. The problem was it was the middle of summer and the storm that was looming in the sky above you was completely abnormal. The clouds were dark and taunting as you looked up to send a curse to the heavens, hating them for letting your life turn out this way.

Once you reached the chipped black painted door of your apartment, your hands started to shake even more.

“Get a grip,” you whispered to yourself. As you wrapped your frail hand around the door knob you almost immediately pulled your hand back. It was ice cold. “No, please,” you whispered again as tears filled your eyes. You didn’t want them to find you. Not yet. You needed at least a week to get out of this town. It wasn’t just easy to up and leave once you had barely gotten settled.

You forced yourself to calm down. You could fight them and get away – most of them were afraid to hurt you as it was. You would be fine.

You scoffed at your last thought. Even if they didn’t get you, you wouldn’t be fine. You were growing weaker every day and it was only a matter time. At least this way you could live your life the way you wanted to – free from any bond that you didn’t want. This way you had choices.

You weren’t sure if you were even choosing to be like this anymore though. You ran away not so much of fear of others, but fear of yourself. Fear because of love.

Knowing you had to face whoever could possibly be in your apartment, you pushed your key into the ice cold lock and quickly opened it without any more thinking. You pushed your door open and all the breath in your lungs was taken away as you were met with the chilly atmosphere that was now in your apartment. That wasn’t all that shocked you as there were what seemed like hundreds of bouquets of primrose flowers covering your apartment – and then there was the smell of the one person who you couldn’t seem forget. The same scent you had smelled in the hospital locker room.

Jongdae.

He had finally come for you and this time, he had gotten closer than ever. It made your mind scream for him in so many ways you couldn’t explain.

Quickly, you slammed your door, locking it and sliding down the back of it. As if locking it would do any good now. He had found your apartment and he had been inside it.

His scent surrounded you and cradled you in the best and worst ways. You felt like you were coming back to life again after two years of feeling dead. He was nearby and it was mending all of your frail bits but you tried not to welcome it. You pressed your fingers into your skin as you stared at one of the bright white bundles of primrose. Most women like getting flowers, but this was a bit much, you thought. The flowers were an startling reminder of the sparrow on your hip. 

“Where are you?” you mused as you forced your shaking body up to stand. You wouldn’t heal instantly even if he was close, but you began to feel more rejuvenated, even if you were afraid. Carefully, you tiptoed around the flowers being sure not to touch any of the delicate white flowers. Once you finally made your way to your kitchen, you grabbed the biggest knife you could although you knew it would be very little help. Especially against him. Even if they had taught you how to fight, didn’t mean you could fight them. You sighed to yourself as you held the knife in a fighting stance, being sure to circle around yourself as you inspected your apartment.

The old wooden floors of your apartment that were starting to rot creaked under your feet as you took careful steps. You didn’t know what exactly you were preparing for, or what you would do depending on who had come but you at least knew that the last thing you would do is go back. How could you when there was so much at stake? The last time you were there you remembered saying three fatal words that you had never imagined would slip from your lips. Love was enough to keep you on the run for as long as you could.

But, you never went too far. If you went too far, you knew that not only would you die, but so would he and there was no way you were going to do that to him - no matter how many times you convinced yourself that death was better than this fate you didn’t choose.

But - it seemed it was fate.

How did they find you? You sighed but you knew how. The same way you could find them if you tried. It took a lot of energy and training – neither of which you had so even if you wanted to, you couldn’t sense they were coming in any ways other than the subtle signs you had gotten. They must have gotten good at covering their trail because you normally had at least a week or a few days’ notice before they showed up. They weren’t letting you go easy and you knew it was because as you were growing weak and frail, so was Jongdae. That’s way you always stayed five paces too close for your liking. When you went too far, you could feel death waiting at your door so when that happened, you always moved close enough to them that you still clung to life. 

It was quiet enough that your ears twitched towards every sound so when your floor creaked in the distance, your eyes snapped towards it. The second you saw a figure, you were ready to flee or to fight but you didn’t have time as he bolted over to you with lightning speed and he had his cold hands on you in and instant.

“Yixing,” you gritted out as you stared at the soft but red eyed man. He was handsome as ever but just like you, he was weak and it killed you because you knew that you had done that to him. “I didn’t even smell you.”

He had furrowed brows as you said that and you could see the concern etching on his face. You knew he was here to capture you, but still, he cared about you. “It’s worse than we thought. You’re worse off than he is,” he said grimly.

You shrugged, “Where is he? I was overpowered by his scent when I opened the door.” You didn’t want to fight Yixing, you didn’t want to fight anyone as a matter of a fact, but he was one you definitely wouldn’t hurt. Baekhyun though, he was free game for annoying you so much in the past. You were slightly disappointed they hadn’t sent him.

“Put the knife down,” he said in a flat voice, “you’re not going to fight me in the state you’re in.”

With an eye roll, you scoffed, “I’m just fine.”

He gestured to your body with one hand, keeping the other one curled tightly on your shoulder, “Have you looked in the mirror?”

What he was seeing in you now, you had seen every day. You couldn’t deny that you looked bad. You were skinnier and paler than you had ever been when you were around Jongdae but you didn’t care. You didn’t want to be around him. You were too scared of loving Jongdae as fiercely as you had started to back at their place. Jongdae had turned you into a vampire and while you still hadn’t forgiven him for giving you a life you hadn’t chosen, he was Jongdae and Jongdae was amazing. Jongdae cared so much for you no matter how much you pushed him away.

Jongdae loved you through all of your emotions and even when you were attached to Yixing’s hip.

“For your safety, please come home,” Yixing begged.

You pursed your lips for a moment before sighing and losing some of your resolve, “I know why Jongdae sent you. It’s not a secret that I am a lot easier when it comes to you. But Yixing, you don’t get it. I can’t come back. I can’t. It’s too much at once. I don’t even know if I can be myself anymore and it’s making me crazy. Between you and Jongdae, it’s better off like this.”

He closed his eyes for a moment. “I’m begging you once more, please come home.” He opened his eyes and stared into yours, “Maybe I could leave? Maybe that would make it better on you?”

Your eyes grew wide, “If you leave, I’ll still be dealing with Jongdae. Besides, I’m not asking you to do that - because if I did comeback, you would be one of the reasons.”

Yixing softened, “Why did you leave then?”

You laughed bitterly, “You’re one of the reasons for that too. You and Jongdae are my reason for running and my reason for staying all at once.”

“Am I going to be able to convince you to come home?”

You started to shake as you looked into his bright red eyes, “This is for the best Yixing,” but no matter how many times you said it out loud or in your head, you didn’t even believe it. You didn’t believe it because you were withering away, Jongdae was withering away and now it seemed so was Yixing.

Yixing didn’t need to convince you to come home because you were already convinced, you were just too stubborn to cave even if it was killing the three of you.

He sighed and you saw his eyes flick behind you as he released you and backed away.

“I’ll be outside,” he said with a sad voice as he left the apartment.

The moment he was gone, you felt sad. You hadn’t realized how much you missed him and even though you’d like to say you didn’t realize how much you loved him, you did. You hadn’t forgotten how much you loved both him and Jongdae. Not for a second.

You breathed a sigh of frustration, only to breathe in and smell Jongdae’s scent stronger than ever. You gasped as he appeared in front of you looking deathly ill. He didn’t look as bad as you did, but he still looked like he was suffering the same fate as you. He shook from where he stood in front of you and he reached a hand out towards your face, making you tremble even more as you tried to move away from his hand. The state Jongdae was in caused an uncomfortable feeling in your heart.

“You look awful,” he choked out. “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”

He would be the hardest person to fight because naturally your willpower felt lessened when he was around. He made you feel weaker than you were and made your stomach flutter with what you thought were angry bees as opposed to butterflies. “I didn’t want you to come,” you managed to push the words out of your dry throat. It was a lie. It was all a lie. Why else had you stayed five places close to him? You ran away but always kept him at arms length - for what reason? For what reason other than for him to come for you?

You wanted him here and you couldn’t admit it because you were determined to stay away from them.

His eyes were sad as he looked down at you and he touched your cheek. You lifted the knife shakily towards him as he glanced at it and wrapped his fingers around where yours were, sparks jolted through you. He pressed it closer to his chest. “This can’t hurt me as much as you being away from me is hurting.”

“Is the physical pain that bad for you? I thought you were strong?” you asked softly, not meaning to care the way you did. You would never want to be the reason for his pain. It was so hard to be your own person around Jongdae because you just wanted to give him the world. You wanted his happiness more than you wanted anything.

Maybe not anything.

You wanted Jongdae more than anything.

Jongdae pressed the knife closer to his chest, positioning it where his heart was. “No, I mean emotionally – mentally. I need you. Admit you need me too because I know you do. It’s more than just the physical pain for you too.”

You scoffed, “I don’t need you.” It was a lie. That was the worst part. As much as you wanted nothing to do with him, your life was coated with him. You dreamed about him, thought about him, and the invisible strings were pulling you to him. You could sense his scent more than anyone else’s and it was one that could unintentionally make you smile. You were fighting it. Fighting the bond, you had with him because you knew you were his, and you didn’t want to be. Correction, you tried to not want to be.

“Why don’t you get it? I’ve tried explaining this to you a hundred times. I love you because of you. I want you because of you. Not just because we’re bound but because of who you are. If I could die just so you could live freely, I would. If only I died from being away from you, I would accept it, but the fact of the matter is not only will I die, but so will you. I’m not letting you die. I love you too much.”

“You think you love me because of the bond we have.” Lies and untruths kept spilling from your lips even though your mind knew otherwise. You knew Jongdae loved you for more than just the bond. Obviously, he loved you once you guys were revealed as soulmates but you knew that wasn’t the why behind his love for you.

Jongdae laughed sadly, “I’ve explained this before, love. You know it’s more than that, we were both there when our love blossomed. I’m sorry I turned you – by accident – but I did so because we are fated to be together. It was an accident pushed by fate and even though I regret how it happened, I don’t regret it. You’re my soulmate and I am yours. We will die without each other and,” he gestured to your body, “by the looks of it you’re getting closer every day. But if you stay with me, you won’t die. You’ll heal and live a long, long life. I will make you happy – and if I can’t, I’ll find someone who can. Even if you don’t want to be in a relationship, you don’t want the romantic love I offer, you can have someone else. Hell, even if it’s Yixing.” Those last words hurt not only you, but you knew it hurt Jongdae. Dizziness was taking over your mind as you took in each of his words. He loved you too much and even though you tried to doubt his love for you, you knew it. He truly loved you enough to allow you to be with someone else while he loved you. Even if it was Yixing, your stomach flipped uncomfortably at the thought of being with him over Jongdae. You loved Yixing, but you loved Jongdae and at the end of the day, you had an idea of who the choice would be.

Even though you tried to have your freedom and wanted choices, deep down, you knew your choice was Jongdae – even if you weren’t ready to accept it. It made you feel guilty that he accepted you so willingly but you fought him the whole way. How could he still want that? 

Because he truly loved you.

Looking back three years ago when you had first met Jongdae, you knew you should have known better than to get involved. If you had stayed away, neither of you would be in the shitty situation you were entrapped in now. You met him at a club and something about him seemed other-worldly but at that time, it intrigued you. His skin, his teeth, and his demeanor were too perfect and while normally you warded yourself off that type of guy, you were drawn to him. No matter how much you tried to forget his presence, your eyes kept lingering back to him. It felt as if strings were pulling you two together. You fought it and had no intentions of talking to him until he approached you with a devilish grin and dark eyes.

Even from that moment, your body was Jongdae’s.

You were naïve then. You didn’t realize what that night with Jongdae would entail. Not only was it the best sexual experience you ever had, but it was the night Jongdae had bit you – forever making you his and a vampire. Things were hot, heavy and far too romantic with a stranger that night but yet it felt so right up until his eyes flashed red and you felt his fangs sinking into the skin of your lower neck.

Automatically, your hand reached up and grazed the small scars that were still there as you shivered. Even though he had hurt you, scared you, and ruined your chance at a human life, he had given you so much that night. The scars were special to you now.

“Y/N,” Jongdae gently said.

You looked at him, seeing his dark red eyes looking softly at you and it made you pull the knife away from him. His hand was still over yours as you placed the knife on the counter and you stared at him. He interlaced his fingers with yours, making your heart race and you felt yourself coming alive as the sparks jolted through you again. Jongdae had a healing effect on you as you did him, and both of your faces started to brighten. The damage from two years wasn’t going to be gone right away, but just a little bit of Jongdae was enough to make you feel better.

You forgot how hard it was to be around him. Everything but Jongdae seemed to blur when he was in your sight and it was hard to think straight. It had been nearly impossible to leave the first time; how would you get out of his grasp this time?

You wouldn’t and you weren’t sure you wanted to anymore.

It had been a long two years and you realized how much you had missed his gentle demeanor and the way he made you feel. 

For a long time, you were upset at Jongdae for turning you. ‘It was inevitable’ Junmyeon and Minseok the two eldest vampires of their clan had told you. When a vampire finds their soulmate, they can’t hold themselves back from biting each other – although normally a vampire’s soul mate is another vampire. You wanted to blame Jongdae and you kept trying to blame Jongdae but with the magnetic pull you felt and with the way he made you feel, it was hard to. Even if Jongdae’s fangs had done the job, it was fate that marked you for each other. You had that red sparrow for the entire duration of your life which meant, you were always marked for Jongdae. You weren’t the only one though, because Jongdae was marked for you.

“I need you. Please come home. I promise if you come home that I won’t pressure you into any relationship you aren’t ready for,” he said honestly.

You weren’t worried about Jongdae as much as you were yourself but you knew if anything, that you loved him. Even if you ran away for reason you thought were good, you regretted it and were ready to go home.

It didn’t even matter where you went as long as Jongdae was there because he was your home, afterall.

Three years ago, everything seemed scary. You were forced out of your humanity and had a vampire soulmate pushed on you at the same time. It was terrifying, especially throwing Yixing and his blue sparrow tattoo in the mix. Your feelings were all over the place for the near year you stayed there. Jongdae did so much for you, no matter what your feelings made you do to him so now, you wanted to do the same for him. You cared for him in ways you could never imagine caring for anyone. Love was scary to someone who had experienced so little of it in their entire life.

“I swear to you, love. I’ll be good. We can have separate rooms and even all the way across the house from each other if you wish.”

But you didn’t want to stay in a separate room from him. “Were the flowers from you?” you whispered, gesturing to the flowers strewn over your apartment.

He nodded with a small smile that made you feel weak in your knees, “Who else would they be from?” he bends down and picks up a bouquet by his feet and lifts it out to you, the bright white petals shining at you. “Primrose means eternal love.”

Jongdae’s words shook through you, making your heart thump into your chest roughly as you stared into his dark eyes. He knew he was irresistible to you, just as you were to him. It didn’t help that you had spent two years apart. All you wanted to do was catapult into his arms and feel his warmth. You knew you would feel at home in his arms once again.

Your body was relaxed now as Jongdae squeezed your hand. “Will you go home with me?”

You nodded without second thought, “I’ll go with you.”

Jongdae’s grin grew and he pulled you into his arms. His warmth and scent surrounded you like the most comfortable blanket. Hugging him wasn’t something you thought could handle at the moment - you were too weak so it overwhelmed your senses and stopped you from thinking straight. But you needed his embrace. You needed it more than air. 

And even if you didn’t want to, you needed Jongdae.

But you wanted to need him.

And that was the thing with love.

Now, you just had to deal with Yixing when the two of you got back because even though you and Jongdae were going to get to a resolution, you didn’t know if it would be so easy for you and Yixing.


End file.
